More than six years ago, Kappan interviewed me about what I had learned through writing the Career Confidential advice column. Since then, I’ve written hundreds of columns about education workplace-related issues. While I’ve made the difficult decision to pass the baton to someone new, I’d like to reflect one last time on what I’ve learned, what has changed, and what has stayed the same over the last decade.
“When something goes wrong at work, that can play an outsize role in a person’s life,” I told Kappan back in 2017. “Someone may have a very rich family life, tons of friends, and lots of support, but if something goes wrong at work, that can overshadow everything. It can really throw someone off balance.”
That’s equally true today. Issues that seem relatively small on the surface can become loaded very quickly, such as how to use all-staff emails, facilitate healthy communication between administrators and teachers, and navigate chain of command issues.
As I noted in that interview, I tend to get more questions from men than women. Perhaps women are more open with one another, while men may be more comfortable revealing vulnerabilities in an anonymous column. A disproportionate number of questions have always come from principals and superintendents, underscoring how lonely it can be at the top. I’ve learned that individuals may hold different positions or have a different take on a similar situation, but most people have good intentions. That knowledge has made it easier for me to assume positive intent in others.
Individuals may hold different positions or have a different take on a similar situation, but most people have good intentions.
There have been many recurring themes, including anything related to interpersonal dynamics or work-life balance, but the world has changed dramatically since I started writing this column in 2016. To name a few: a global pandemic and “Zoom school;” a mental health crisis; international wars; explosive shifts in technology and a 24-7 news cycle; school shootings and code red drills; polarizing politics; and increased awareness of racial injustice and inequity. For educators, that has meant a whole new set of distinct needs and questions.
All of a sudden, I was fielding far more questions from teachers who wanted to be talked out of quitting mid-year, or who needed help answering students’ questions about divisive world events, or who needed help setting healthy boundaries with parents who were “blurring the lines” between home and school. I got more questions about motivating apathetic students, supporting socially awkward students, and coping with everything from cyberbullying to burnout, loneliness, and impostor syndrome.
No matter what’s happening in the world, no matter someone’s backstory, every educator wants to feel competent, seen, and valued — to feel they belong. So many conflicts arise when those needs aren’t met. That may be my most enduring lesson. Simple acts such as saying hello in the hallway, passing along a compliment, acknowledging others’ contributions, and showing appreciation go a long way.
While it’s bittersweet to say goodbye to this column, and I will miss hearing your stories, I couldn’t be more thrilled to introduce Career Confidential’s next author, Starr Sackstein. Starr brings a wealth of experience to this space as a National Board certified teacher, school leader, author, Education Week blogger, international consultant, and speaker. To learn more about Starr, check out her website. To send her questions, please write careerconfidential@pdkintl.org. I can’t wait to learn from her.
In the meantime, thank you to everyone who has ever sent me a question, served as a source, read or edited this column, or commented on a post! I’m grateful to all of you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
