Q: I teach 2nd grade and the behavioral issues in my classroom are out of control. At least two children should be in a more specialized setting. Meanwhile, I’m a pretty new teacher who only has taught middle school, and I’m still learning how to manage this age group’s needs effectively. Honestly though, even experienced teachers in my building are dealing with these same challenges.
Yesterday, a parent contacted me directly. She said she didn’t want to go over my head if it would get me in trouble, but she was inclined to speak to the principal about the daily disruptions in my classroom. She asked me how I’d feel about that, and if there were any specific talking points I’d want her to make. Truth be told, I’m desperate for more support. I have a paraeducator, but she also lacks experience, and I worry this will make us both look bad!
I haven’t spoken to my principal about any of my concerns yet, mostly because I worry he’ll think I’m a mess. Maybe it’s silly, but I’m still trying to make a good first impression! I don’t know him that well because it’s my first year at the school. He’s friendly but doesn’t have time to visit my classroom for more than a few minutes here and there. Besides, I know he has bigger problems to address. Should I give this parent the greenlight to talk to him? If so, what should I ask her to say? Regardless of what I decide, I doubt much will change. Like every other school in my district, we’re understaffed and rarely obtain specialized placements for students. I don’t think my principal has much of a say in district-level staffing and placement decisions anyway.
A: You would like (and need) more support but are too nervous to approach your principal, so maybe this is the perfect excuse to request a meeting and initiate an honest dialogue. You could start by telling him you’re tempted to take this parent up on her offer, but you want to make sure your “asks” are feasible and reasonable. You also could ask him whether he has any specific suggestions. He might appreciate her advocacy, particularly if his own hands are tied. He might suggest, for instance, that she join forces with other parents and testify at the school board level about the need for more staffing or additional specialized programs.
Even if your principal has limited control over the big picture, he can help you bolster your skills. He might encourage you to spend time observing a more experienced teacher or deploy a staff development specialist to observe you and offer practical strategies. He might decide to shuffle paraeducators around so you’re paired with someone who has more experience teaching younger students. He might be willing to fund relevant professional development training. He also might suggest that you start documenting students’ behavioral concerns to help him make the case for more staffing. Even if all he does is listen, validate your frustration, and thank you for bringing your concerns to him directly, you might feel reassured and less alone. In short, there’s no way to predict how your principal will react, but he can’t do anything if he doesn’t know you’re having a hard time. And it’s not only his job to support you — it’s in his best interests.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
