Q: I’m just so sick and tired — no, infuriated — by the teacher bashing happening right now. On message boards. In newspapers. On my neighborhood listserv. Overheard at the supermarket. There are so many complaints. We’re “lazy, entitled, unethical.” We’re “hypocrites” if we do any individual or small-group tutoring on the side. We’re “the reason there’s no in-person school.” “Teacher unions are evil.” We’re “liars” if we say we have underlying health risks. We’re “weak” if we’re scared to teach in person because our districts have no real safety plan in place.
People keep pointing to supermarket workers and health care workers and say we should be out there on the front lines, too. They don’t see that those are different situations. I keep hearing that we should be micromanaged. Some even think we should have to teach virtually from inside the building without any students present because otherwise we’ll just take advantage of distance learning. You know, do nothing. Come on! The system leaders make the rules, tell us what to do, what to teach, and how to do it, yet we’re the bad guys. I love teaching but hate remote teaching. I want nothing more than to be in the school, but safely. I worry about my students all the time. I took this job to contribute to society, to make a difference, not to work at my kitchen table with faces on a screen. Last spring was bad, I get that. This fall will be better, I hope, but it still won’t be great. I think parents will get angrier and angrier and the backlash against teachers will just get worse and worse. I already can’t take it.
I don’t need people telling me I’m wonderful all the time, but I do need to feel like I matter and that my work has value, whether it’s inside or outside a building. Now that society has completely turned on us, I think I’d rather do something else when this year is up. I realize this is more of a rant than a question, but I can’t go through this whole year feeling judged at every turn. Any advice for tuning this out or dealing with it better?”
A: The most practical shift you can make is to get off those message boards and listservs. They’re often anonymous and populated by people who simply want to vent. There’s no way to know if the same person is hurling 17 versions of the same insult, or 17 different people weighing in on one issue. You can’t help overhearing a conversation in the supermarket, but you don’t need to peruse internet discussion boards.
I recognize that the boards are only a symptom of the problem you’re describing. The teacher-bashing has been intense lately, in large part because teachers play such a critical role in society. That’s the paradox. If you were less vital, you wouldn’t find yourself at the center of such a contentious debate. Remember, parents are stressed and juggling competing demands, and they’re worried about their children’s safety, socialization, and education. Many also feel ill-equipped to help their children understand the material, and they may be worrying about everything from finances to the health of family members. All of that is feeding their anxiety, which can manifest as anger, irritability, aggression and, yes, blaming others. No one is at their peak when they’re feeling scared and vulnerable and can see no end in sight. They know that when they send their children to school, they can set aside many of their worries.
Teachers are in the same boat. They also have to figure out how to balance competing demands, make a living, and ensure their students and their own kids thrive. At the same time, they must rapidly learn new ways to deliver content, which can trigger insecurity. Plus, social distancing is heightening everyone’s sensitivity. Remember, you’re fielding all these complaints at a time when you’re feeling raw yourself. We are still very much in the middle of a pandemic.
So, what can you do? Let’s use the analogy of a camera. Right now, you’re seeing the world through a wide-angle lens. You’re taking in what everyone has to say, absorbing negative rhetoric from all corners, drawing conclusions about your perceived worth based on the comments of people you’ve never met. Instead, imagine you’re looking at the world through a zoom lens. You only can see the people in your personal orbit. Your own students, your administrators, your colleagues, your students’ parents. Focus on building relationships with them — the real people you’re going to be engaging with daily. You’re going to need these uplifting interactions to fill your gas tank. If things aren’t going well with those individuals, you’ll at least be able to come up with constructive solutions. There’s nothing you can do to appease the anonymous masses.
Tell your administrator how you’re feeling, too, because that might prompt them to pass along positive feedback they otherwise might mentally file away. Be sure to offer encouragement to your colleagues as well. They need it just as much as you do, and you’ll kick off a positive cycle. Last, take a hard look at your social network. Limit time with people who undermine, judge, or criticize you, and spend the bulk of your time with the people who show up for you, are mindful of your feelings and make you feel valued.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
