Q: At what point is it no longer my fault that one of my students won’t do any work? I’ve tried dangling rewards and taking away privileges, but this one girl (a student in one of my 6th-grade language arts classes) won’t even pick up a pencil. She will literally sit in front of a blank page or sit in silence the whole class. When I tell her it’s time to get started on her work, she just looks at me blankly. I know this isn’t about her skill or ability. By all accounts, she’s always been a good, engaged, diligent student. At least, that’s what her former teachers have told me. Her counselor told me she has no idea what’s going on, either. Making things more confusing, she’s never rude or defiant. That would be easier for me to deal with, I think. If I offer her help, she just shrugs and replies, “No, thank you.” If I ask her if she understands the assignment on her desk, she simply says “Yes.” If I then say, “OK, then I need you to get started,” she doesn’t give me sass, she just doesn’t do it.
I’ve tried sitting next to her. I’ve tried standing over her for long stretches. I’ve tried talking to her about why the work is relevant. I’ve tried pairing her with a capable and motivated student. I’ve tried calling home. (Her parents are as flabbergasted as I am, but I also think they may blame me since this is new behavior.) I’ve even given this girl a say in how she does the work, even if that means giving her a different assignment, but she turns down all of my offers. I’ve flat-out asked her what the problem is and if I’m missing something, but I think she just … doesn’t want to do the work. I think it may actually be that straightforward! How can I target her apathy and make her care more? For what it’s worth, I’m a well-liked teacher and most kids think I’m reasonable and fair. This is not typical behavior for any of my students. I don’t even think this girl dislikes me, which makes her behavior and her dismissiveness of my feelings even more baffling. What can I do differently to get a better result, or any result? I find myself giving up just a bit. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink, right?
A: You’ve tried a lot of great strategies and used your resources, from consulting other teachers, to calling home and consulting with her counselor. I’m impressed and understand your frustration. But it’s only October – far too early to give up. Try to resist the urge to personalize her behavior, too. She could love you, think you’re a fantastic teacher, want to do well, and still produce little or even no work.
Acknowledge that this is probably stressful for her, and admit that you don’t know how to help her.
For starters, you’re looking for a technical solution to an adaptive challenge. You can’t motivate someone without knowing what’s getting in their way. And your student may not know why she’s stuck, either. She could be a perfectionist, or struggling with depression, or recovering from a trauma, or dealing with stress at home. Plus, motivation is complicated. When researchers looked at the brain scans of teens completing high- and low-stakes tasks, they determined that connectivity between the prefrontal cortex and another brain region, the striatum, is associated with a person’s ability to optimize goal-directed behavior. That connectivity increases with age, which may explain why younger teens don’t do better when they think the stakes are high. Along those same lines, patiently telling this girl why doing the work matters may never make a dent in how she acts. So how can you help her?
Pull her aside at a time when you can talk to her alone. Engage with her as if she’s a little older and more mature than her age might suggest. Point out that you know that this is new behavior for her because her former teachers have described her as engaged, capable and diligent. Tell her that you’re wondering if something else might be getting in her way. Come from a stance of curiosity rather than disappointment, and approach her with empathy and humility. Acknowledge that this is probably stressful for her, and admit that you don’t know how to help her. If she insists that she truly doesn’t care about schoolwork, explain that feeling flat can be a symptom of depression. Don’t pressure her to confide in you but make it clear that you care about her. Underscore that you believe that she can feel better and that she deserves to feel better, and tell her that you want to help her get the support she needs.
You may not see any improvement at first, but keep trying to connect with her, whether you inquire about her weekend plans or ask her to help you with a task in class. Notice any incremental progress, even if that’s simply putting her name on a worksheet. The bottom line is that this girl likely is dealing with something far more consequential than schoolwork, and you might be the only person who takes the time to see beyond her apathy and address the underlying issue.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
