Q: I’m a teacher who admittedly should have started looking for a new job in another field a couple years ago. Now it’s December and I’m so fried. I want to quit midyear. I’m contractually obligated to work through June, so leaving will get me blackballed from the county where I work and all the neighboring counties. If it wasn’t for that, I probably would have left back in October. Honestly, I don’t care what I do instead. I’m so sick of all of the BS that goes along with teaching, and it’s sucking all the joy from my life. I’m doing so much, and I’m expected to put up with kids kicking me yet experiencing zero consequences. And I’m supposed to follow all commands unquestioningly, including fudging grades to push struggling kids through. I could go on, but it’s a tired story and my complaints are unoriginal. I don’t think my experience is all that different from what many others are experiencing. It seems, however, that my colleagues are weathering the ups and downs better than I am. They complain and grumble about not making it to retirement, but they’re not down in the dumps like me. Yes, they also question the ethics of some of the district’s mandates, but they just kind of get on with it. Meanwhile, I feel like I can’t get out of bed in the morning. I just don’t want to go to work and I’m so, so tired. I dread work. It’s not that I hate my students, it’s that I kind of feel nothing, and that’s not fair to them. I’m in no danger of getting fired, unfortunately. I dot my i’s and cross my t’s, and by some miracle I manage to meet all my responsibilities, but I don’t take any joy or pleasure in my work. The student “wins” don’t give me the highs I felt when I started teaching eight years ago. The “losses” don’t impact me much either, though, which I guess is the weird upside. I feel like quitting is probably in the best interest of my school and my students. Maybe they’ll end up with a teacher who brings some excitement to the table. How can I know if I should burn my bridges and walk midyear?
A: You mention that you no longer take pleasure in things that once brought you joy and that you feel chronically flat and tired. These can be symptoms of depression, so the first thing I would do is make an appointment with a trained mental health professional. You can either meet with someone privately or go through your school district if there’s an employee assistance program. In the meantime, don’t make any decisions that could have long-term repercussions. That doesn’t mean you proceed with business as usual, though. You may be eligible for up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave under the FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act). Buy yourself time and get appropriate support to increase the odds that you’ll make a good, clear-headed decision.
I do want to note that you’re writing this in December. This can be a tough time of year, but I’m also going to assume that you’re about to get several days off. Use that time to take care of yourself. You’re of no use to anyone if you’re completely depleted. That means getting enough sleep, eating well, connecting with loved ones, getting fresh air and exercise, and distracting yourself when you start to ruminate. Consider journaling, too — not just to unload your emotions, but to process them. There’s plenty of research showing that writing about difficult experiences can help people weather them. Until the break — and after the holidays, assuming you decide to return to work — start thinking about any small, incremental steps you can take to make work more bearable. How might you feel a greater sense of agency? Could you quietly disregard policies you find unethical? Are there sources of support you haven’t tapped? Once you start to feel better, you might even have the energy to join forces with colleagues to agitate for change.
This isn’t to discount the possibility that you’re in the wrong setting or even the wrong line of work, and I’m not dismissing your concerns about your district’s discipline and grading policies. I am suggesting, however, that quitting midyear should be the last resort. It’s not the ideal resolution for you or your students.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
