Q: “I’m leading a professional development session in January about communicating student challenges with parents. Teachers write narrative comments once per semester, and last semester, it seemed like they were afraid to say anything negative. I think they felt like they weren’t allowed to. Anyway, their communications were not honest and were misaligned with the report card. How do I help teachers communicate honestly with parents when they are fearful to share the truth?”
- Signed, we must communicate honestly if we truly want to nurture relationships.
A: Thank you for your thoughtful question regarding the challenges teachers face when communicating student performance and challenges to parents. It’s a crucial topic that impacts not only the educational experience of students but also the relationships between educators and families. Your commitment to fostering honest communication is commendable, and here are some strategies that can help teachers navigate this delicate terrain.
Understanding the fear of negative feedback
First, it’s essential to acknowledge the fears that teachers may have when it comes to delivering less-than-positive feedback. Many educators worry about how parents will react, fearing backlash or conflict. This fear can stem from past experiences, cultural expectations, or even a lack of training in delivering constructive criticism. Understanding these fears is the first step in addressing them. Additionally, fear can create irrational responses and actions that will make future, honest communication more complicated. Once we allow fear to control our communication, open dialogue will be essential to ensure a positive pathway forward. We should also seek to get to the root of the fear to determine if this is a personal or systemic issue as that will dictate how to move forward.
Creating a culture of trust and openness
To encourage honest communication, it’s vital to cultivate a culture of trust and openness within your school community. Here are some strategies to promote this environment:
- Provide professional development on communication skills: Organize workshops focused on effective communication strategies. These sessions can provide teachers with tools to frame their feedback positively while still being honest. Role-playing scenarios can help educators practice delivering feedback in a supportive setting. One great book that focuses on communicating with parents is Crystal Frommert’s When Calling Parents Isn’t Your Calling.
- Model transparent communication: As an educational leader, you can set the tone by modeling transparent communication. Share your own experiences of discussing student challenges with parents, including both successes and difficulties. This vulnerability can empower teachers to follow suit. Modeling works with all learners. We need to be vulnerable and share the experiences we’ve had in order to help sidestep results that can potentially hold the community back.
- Encourage regular check-ins: Instead of waiting for report cards or narrative comments, encourage teachers to engage in regular communication with parents throughout the semester. This can be done through emails, phone calls, or informal meetings. Regular updates can help parents feel more informed and less blindsided when they receive feedback about their child’s performance. We can go one better here and also teach students to have these kinds of communications with their parents by keeping our online communication tools up to date. Students can also use their portfolios to show them the learning they are doing.
- Frame feedback constructively: Teach educators to use a constructive feedback framework. For example, the “sandwich method” involves starting with a positive comment, discussing an area for improvement, and ending with another positive note. This approach can help soften the impact of negative feedback and make it more palatable for parents.
- Provide context and solutions: When discussing challenges, encourage teachers to provide context and potential solutions. For instance, if a student is struggling with a particular subject, it’s helpful to explain why that might be the case and suggest strategies for improvement. This not only informs parents but also empowers them to support their child’s learning at home. I’d also make sure there is a window for partnership as you brainstorm solutions that will work for each family.
Engaging parents in the process
In addition to supporting teachers, it’s important to engage parents in the conversation about their child’s education. Here are some strategies to foster this engagement:
- Hold workshops for parents: Host workshops that educate parents about the learning process and the importance of constructive feedback. This can help them understand that challenges are a normal part of learning and that honest communication is essential for their child’s growth. Since many families have busy lives, consider offering webinars that can be recorded and posted on the school website or emailed home. Keep the information succinct to ensure a higher likelihood of people actually watching or participating.
- Encourage a growth mindset: Promote a growth mindset within your school community. Emphasize that challenges and setbacks are opportunities for growth, both for students and parents. When parents adopt this mindset, they may be more receptive to honest feedback.
- Create feedback channels: Establish clear channels for parents to voice their concerns or ask questions. This could be through surveys, suggestion boxes, or regular meetings. When parents feel heard, they are more likely to respond positively to feedback regarding their child’s performance. Schools can set up structures that make these kinds of backchannels accessible and useful to all parties, most of all, the students.
Building stronger relationships through honesty
Ultimately, honest communication is the foundation of strong relationships between educators and parents. By addressing the fears teachers have about delivering negative feedback and fostering a culture of openness, you can help create an environment where honest conversations flourish. Remember, the goal is not to sugarcoat challenges but to present them in a way that encourages collaboration and support.
As you prepare for your professional development session in January, consider sharing these strategies with your colleagues. You may want to start with an anonymous survey or needs assessment to gauge where folks are with this challenge. Together, you can work towards a more transparent and supportive educational environment that truly nurtures the growth and success of every student.
Have a question that you’d like Career Confidential to answer? Email ssackstein@educatorsrising.org. All names and schools will remain confidential. No identifying information will be included in the published questions and answers.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Starr Sackstein
Starr Sackstein is the Massachusetts state coordinator for PDK’s Educators Rising program, COO of Mastery Portfolio, an education consultant, instructional coach, and author. She was a high school English and journalism teacher and school district curriculum leader. She is the author of more than 15 educational books, including Hacking Assessment (Times 10, 2015), Making an Impact Outside of the Classroom (Routledge, 2024), and Actionable Assessment (Routledge, 2026).
Visit their website at: https://www.mssackstein.com/
