Q: Here we are. It’s June. Almost summer. We have about two weeks of school left, and I think it’s suddenly hitting parents that we all have more remote learning coming our way this fall. I think a lot of parents held their tongue for the spring, thinking, “Well, let’s just make it to summer and then we’ll get back to normal.” But now everyone realizes normal isn’t likely to return for a while, and we’re probably going to be back online come September. As a result, some parents are really, really unhappy and probably fearful about how they’ll manage it. My colleagues and I sympathize with them. We know that they have their own jobs, and we understand that it’s not easy to work full time and also manage their child’s schoolwork. Plus, remote learning doesn’t work well for many kids, perhaps most of them. For that matter, I don’t know any teachers who think this is optimal, either.
In the last week or so, the chorus of complaints has been getting louder. They’re like a buzzing beehive at this point. Parents keep sending me long lists of suggestions, half of which I couldn’t implement even if I wanted to. I have a couple of concerns about the direction this is heading. One is that while I can tolerate the complaining for now, since summer is right around the corner, I don’t know that I have it in me to deal with disgruntled, stressed out, complaining parents for what could be the whole 2020-21 school year. And two, I kind of agree with everything they have to say, and I don’t feel great about the way my hands are tied. We should be doing more synchronous teaching, for instance. The parents are right that the computers we’re all stuck with are awful. And yes, the grading system is messed up right now and makes too many things completely optional. So, I have two questions. First, how can I keep the complaints from interfering with my mental wellness, especially in the coming year? Second, how can I feel good about my work when I know it’s meh at best, through no fault of my own?
A: No one knows precisely what the future holds, but it’s safe to say that life won’t be back to normal by fall. Most schools anticipate either continued distance learning or some sort of hybrid schedule. That clearly is hitting home for you and for your students’ parents, who sound like they’re worn out and trying to control whatever variables they can. Instead of personalizing their complaints and letting them drain your energy, try reframing their motives. You also might want to think more expansively and strategically about how to put their criticism to work for you and your students.
First, try to see them as advocates for their children. Much as you have a good sense of what has and hasn’t worked for you as a remote teacher, parents have a good sense of what has and hasn’t worked for their children. It’s their job to do what they can to ensure their kids’ educational needs are met. Second, it sounds like you’re all on the same side and, in fact, want many of the same things. You say your hands are tied, so consider redirecting them to someone with more decision-making power. If you mobilize them, you may further your own interests, whether you want more synchronous learning or better technology.
As to your second question, I suggest you make a concerted effort to identify and focus on the things that are in your control. How can you do your best work within the constraints of remote learning and your district’s mandates? What approaches worked best for you this spring? What might you do differently going forward? What professional development could you pursue to boost your skills and confidence? Use the summer to recharge, reflect, and prepare for next year, recognizing that the only constant right now is change, and the only way to sustain your stamina is by pacing yourself and resisting the urge to project too far into the future.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
