Q: I’m an ESOL teacher and my performance reviews are written by a principal who has no experience teaching English learners. It’s hard to see him go on about what I “should” be doing, what I’m doing wrong, the “best way” to teach these kids, and so forth. I guess I haven’t been faking my annoyance very well, because my latest formal evaluation indicated that I need to work on accepting feedback more gracefully, that I should be willing to learn from colleagues, yada yada yada. . . Look, I do believe that, to a certain extent, but do I have to accept criticism from someone who has no idea how to do my job? I don’t think he’s been in a classroom, period, for a good decade. He’s never even taken a course about ELs. But OK, I clearly have to fake it better. Tell me how to do that, please. And also, should I really just act grateful for whatever morsels of advice he throws my way? Do you think someone this far removed from the classroom can tell me anything useful? As a side note, ESOL teachers in my district are treated like in-house subs, moved around and used as needed when people are out sick. My principal thinks nothing of taking a planning period from me or asking me to cover for someone else on a moment’s notice. I don’t think he views ESOL teachers in the same way he views other teachers, and that gets me ticked off too. Or maybe I’m just over getting feedback. I’ve been doing this for a very long time, and I know what works for my students.
A: I suspect that the closing lines of your letter — about the principal’s disregard for ESOL teachers’ professional status and expertise — are key to understanding the tension you describe earlier, relating to his criticism and feedback. If you felt a greater sense of agency with regard to your schedule, planning time, and teaching assignments, then you might chafe less at perceived criticism, perhaps even view that feedback as proof your principal is invested in your professional growth. So, are there any constructive steps you could take to communicate your frustration about your working conditions, perhaps starting with your department chair? That might ease the annoyance you feel about your performance reviews.
But let’s start by talking about feedback more generally. To some extent, you’re right to be skeptical of the criticism you receive, and that would be the case even if your principal had extensive first-hand knowledge about ESOL instruction. As psychometricians have shown in numerous studies, people rarely achieve the level of objectivity needed to evaluate someone else’s performance accurately. A supervisor is always going to bring their own unconscious biases — along with their personality — to the table, and they’re always going to project a somewhat distorted view of your work. Ideally, though, they will at least begin by focusing on your strengths rather than your shortcomings. We’re wired to switch into fight-or-flight mode when all we hear is criticism, and that hinders open-minded listening.
However, regardless of your principal’s focus or delivery, his opinion has value. He may have a faulty understanding of your work, but he does observe teachers all the time. So instead of focusing on his deficits, try to see the utility of hearing his perspective. Plus, it’s in your best interest to accept his feedback gracefully, if for no other reason than he’s your boss. You still can filter through his comments for helpful nuggets, mentally discarding anything you think is off-base.
This seems to be where you’re stuck. Right now, you’re approaching this as an all-or-nothing proposition. You seem to view your choices as either rejecting his feedback entirely or accepting it all unquestioningly. In order to accept criticism gracefully, try to view feedback as a nuanced and imperfect science that nevertheless has value. This may not come easy to you, but you can build your capacity. Start by asking for feedback regularly rather than waiting until it’s foisted on you at a formal review. By soliciting it from a variety of people, including colleagues, you may start to let down your defenses. Consider going out of your way to ask for feedback from colleagues who annoy you or tend to argue with you. You’ll probably have a visceral negative reaction to their thoughts, and that will give you an opportunity to practice suppressing your eye rolls without jeopardizing your job.
Next, picture yourself in the room with your principal. Imagine that he’s telling you how to teach an English learner and you’re super frustrated. You want to refute his dumb ideas. Instead, envision yourself simply listening — making eye contact or taking notes — but staying silent. You’re not arguing or sighing loudly or looking into the distance or rapping your fingers on the desk. You’re just listening attentively and respectfully and quietly. That’s what you’re going to want to do when the time comes. Afterwards, you’re going to want to ask for clarification to show you were paying attention. Ask him to elaborate or share concrete strategies. By listening and coming from a place of genuine curiosity, you’ll convey a desire to improve. That matters. Few people enjoy giving negative feedback, so make it as easy for him as possible.
If at any point your emotions become visible, be frank that you’re having a tough time processing the information but that you appreciate his honesty. Make sure you leave with a plan of action. That doesn’t mean you have to agree to do everything he suggests, but it’s highly unlikely that he’ll offer nothing of value. Try to maintain an open mind. You really can learn something from everyone, and everyone has room for improvement.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
