What’s going on?

What happens following a specific question? Brain scans have shown that specific areas of the brain show activity during questioning. Are there specific hormones and/or proteins involved? Does experience or predilection alter the response? Are there chemical/physiological changes in the brain associated with learning? Does medication alter specific brain function? Does reward or punishment? There are assumptions and suppositions all over the place, but little research that is practical for parents.

What happens when a child won’t answer a simple question? With good feedback, chances are a lot better that one can exercise good parenting. But when a parent asks, “What’s going on?” A typical answer is,  “Nothing”. What is happening at recess? Nothing. What is happening in math? Nothing. What is going on between you and Billy? Nothing. There seems to be nothing going on anywhere for a lot of children.

Not responding when asked gives a child enormous feelings of control. And the child gets rewarded over and over each time the parent asks. All the child has to do is keep schtum or offer a non-answer, and he wins. A child senses frustration and helplessness like a thirsty traveler senses water. A skillful child will keep right on going in that direction.