Principal struggles with self-doubt when his decisions are questioned

Q: As a principal, I make a million and one decisions a day. I’ve been at this a while, and much of the time I feel competent. Lately, however, I’ve had to make some tough calls, and I’ve taken a lot of criticism. Sometimes parents are ticked off, and sometimes it’s staff or members of the community or even district leaders. I know I’m not the only principal who has to make hard decisions in the midst of a culture war and a global pandemic, but man am I drained and having a hard time rallying after I take a hit.

Here’s one example: A teacher covered content in class related to racism. It wasn’t part of the curriculum, but she had my permission to touch on an event that had just been in the news. Afterward, I got slammed with hateful messages and emails from upset individuals who felt she shared too many graphic details about the incident. A few of the complainers were parents in my own school community, but most were internet strangers. A few individuals even referenced the fact that I’m a gay man — which is personal and irrelevant. I don’t know how the situation ended up on social media, but the negative press got my district’s attention, and unhappy school system leaders advised me to rein in the teacher. When I spoke to her, I underscored that I had her back and she wasn’t in trouble, but I also was honest and urged her to be mindful of her students’ maturity and capacity to process and contextualize information. So now she’s ticked off at me, too, and I’m sure she’s complaining about me to other staff members. 

Anyway, whenever my decisions are questioned, whether it’s something like this or something less consequential, I feel like an imposter. I get insecure and anxious and worry that I’m not cut out for this job. How can I shake off my self-doubt faster? Ideally, I’d skip the part when I get so triggered by others’ criticism and judgment that I feel like quitting my job immediately.