Q: I am a new “interim” principal. I sort of stumbled prematurely into this position because the former principal left suddenly for a promotion in another, nearby district. Until the day she resigned, I was the sole assistant principal at the school. In my district, interim principals either end up being a placeholder until there’s time for a search and a more permanent placement, or they get placed in the position long-term. People keep reassuring me that it’s “mine to lose,” but I fear I’m going to blow this opportunity because of my own insecurity. I know everyone gets impostor syndrome from time to time, but I think it could be my undoing. I wasn’t prepared to step into this role, either emotionally or logistically, and I have to do this job in the middle of a pandemic when even experienced principals are having a hard time dealing with all the daily changes and uncertainties. I was assigned a mentor, but that person barely has time to support me and do the rest of their job, and I don’t want to come across as too needy. No one has been unkind, though I think more than a few teachers are apprehensive about my promotion. They want strong leadership, which I understand, but I don’t know that I can provide that for them. My insecurity is creating tremendous anxiety on top of the anxiety I have just being alive these days. It can feel paralyzing, honestly. Will this go away? I need to stop feeling this way so I can be an effective leader.
A: I don’t know if it will go away, at least not without learning how to challenge your negative self-talk and gaining perspective over time. But I can assure you that you can feel like an impostor and still do your job well. In fact, I bet if you asked your principal mentor, they would tell you that they have experienced paralyzing self-doubt at times over the course of their career, too. It’s normal to worry that you’re not up to a new challenge, but you don’t want your insecurity to get in your way.
Keep in mind that just because you feel unqualified doesn’t mean you are unqualified. You’re simply inexperienced. Try to shift your focus. Instead of worrying about the many ways you could blow this opportunity, focus on what you need to be successful. That might mean consulting more experienced peers when you’re stuck (whether that’s your mentor or someone else); asking your teachers, front office staff and others in the building for feedback and advice; or joining a professional learning community with other first-year principals. You also might want to make an appointment with a mental health therapist who can help you process your feelings, re-frame self-defeatist thoughts, and set realistic goals. A counselor could help you find ways to cope better with anxiety more generally, too.
If it helps, imagine that a friend in the same boat asks you for advice. I’m guessing you’d remind your friend that it takes time to learn the ropes, and that they shouldn’t be too hard on themselves when they make mistakes. Perfectionism is going to be particularly unhelpful to you this year. Instead, see your humility as a strength. It takes courage to admit that you don’t know what you’re doing all the time, and most people appreciate honesty and authenticity. I say “most” because you’re never going to impress everyone. In fact, if you expend effort trying to please everyone, you probably won’t satisfy anyone. And as you work through all the complicated feelings that come along with this big transition, don’t forget to celebrate the promotion. After all, you’re in this situation because others have confidence in you and believe you can and will rise to the challenge.
Click here for more Career Confidential
Have a question that you’d like Career Confidential to answer? Email contactphyllisfagell@gmail.com. All names and schools will remain confidential. No identifying information will be included in the published questions and answers.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
