Q: “I’m concerned about the lack of authentic school-family partnerships. Often, parents/caregivers seem to be quick to attack educators and schools, placing blame and disregarding human decency. This is demoralizing for educators. Other places of work (post offices, doctor’s offices, retail stores) post signs stating that bullying and harassment will not be tolerated. Yet in schools, educators, administrators, and staff are treated with disrespect. How can schools, teachers, and educational professionals build respectful, authentic relationships with families to serve the students better while respecting each other’s roles?”
-Signed, a frustrated teacher
A: The relationship between schools and families is more critical than ever. However, many educators find themselves in a challenging position where they feel attacked by parents and caregivers, leading to a toxic atmosphere that can demoralize staff and harm the educational environment. Amid these uncomfortable situations, we still need to be shepherds of our profession and advocates for our students, which means we must find a way to work together respectfully.
First, we must recognize the emotional stakes involved in education. Guardians naturally feel a deep investment in their children’s success. They may respond defensively when they perceive threats to that success—whether through grades, behavior, or school policies. Unfortunately, this can manifest as blame directed at educators, undermining the school environment and distracting from the shared goal of supporting students.
On the other hand, educators are dedicated professionals who often work long hours, navigating complex challenges in the classroom. When faced with hostility from families, their morale can plummet, leading to burnout and disengagement. Thus, authentic partnerships are paramount, and respect must be shared for this symbiotic relationship to function.
Creating a foundation of respect
To foster authentic partnerships, both educators and families must prioritize mutual respect. Here are some actionable steps to build these relationships:
- Open lines of communication: Schools should establish clear and consistent communication channels. Regular newsletters, community meetings, and parent-teacher conferences provide opportunities for dialogue. Additionally, schools can leverage technology, such as communication apps, to keep families informed and engaged. Remind is one tool that can be of use to schools. It allows teachers and schools to push notifications to cellphones as reminders of important information and upcoming dates. Additionally, creating a non-threatening, easy way to dialogue about changes to curriculum and/or policies can ensure that all voices are heard.
- Active listening: Educators should practice active listening, demonstrating that they value parents’ perspectives. This can be achieved by asking open-ended questions and allowing parents to share their concerns without interruption. When families feel heard, they are more likely to approach educators with respect and act in kind to truly hear teachers. In this way, administrators need to support their teachers and work as a united front to build these relationships. We have to remember that no one is winning if we are arguing over who is right.
- Focus on shared goals: Both educators and families are invested in the same outcome: student success. Schools can emphasize this shared mission in communications and meetings. Highlighting collaborative efforts and celebrating student achievements together can reinforce this partnership. While having these conversations, always use the students’ names and demonstrate knowledge and familiarity with their child(ren). It is easier to be on the same page If we are all advocating for the same thing.
- Professional learning for educators: Schools should invest in training educators on effective communication strategies and conflict resolution. This can empower teachers to handle challenging interactions confidently and professionally, ultimately fostering a more respectful atmosphere. There are a lot of great books out there supporting educators with these relationships. You can check out Crystal Frommert’s book When Calling Parents isn’t Your Calling.
- Engagement opportunities: Schools can create opportunities for families to engage actively in the educational process. Workshops, volunteer programs, and family events can bridge the gap between home and school, helping parents feel more connected and invested in their children’s education. It is also strongly recommended to include parents on any important decision-making committees so that their voices are included in big decisions that impact their children.
- Educate families about school processes: Many conflicts arise from school policies and procedures misunderstandings. Schools can hold informational sessions to educate families about the curriculum, grading systems, and behavioral expectations that go beyond back-to-school night, which some families find difficult to attend. Consider keeping important information up to date and easy to find on the district or school website and include that website in signatures so that families know where to look. When families understand the rationale behind these processes, they may approach issues with more empathy and respect.
- Recognize and celebrate diversity: Every school community is unique, and educators should be sensitive to the diverse backgrounds of their students and families. Schools can celebrate cultural events and create inclusive spaces where all families feel valued and respected. This inclusivity fosters a sense of belonging that can enhance partnerships. One way we used to do this in the district I worked in was to do an international feast that invited our families to share food unique to their culture. We broke bread together, sharing the significance of the food and getting to know each other better. This is another way to help families feel seen and safe, especially in challenging political times.
- Establish boundaries: While it is vital to build relationships, educators also must establish clear boundaries regarding acceptable behavior. Schools can communicate a zero-tolerance policy for bullying and harassment, just as other workplaces do. When families understand that disrespectful behavior is unacceptable, they may be more inclined to engage respectfully. It is helpful to unpack what respectful behavior looks like and what actions will be taken if the line has been crossed. These boundaries go both ways, and the local PTA can collaborate with the school to ensure that folks aren’t hassled in grocery stores or anytime outside of the school day or school-sanctioned events. Boundaries are extremely important and must be followed by both sides to demonstrate and receive respect.
Building authentic school-family partnerships is not solely the responsibility of educators; it requires a collective effort from families, schools, and the broader community. By fostering open communication, mutual respect, and understanding, we can create an environment where educators feel valued and supported, and families feel empowered to participate in their children’s education.
Ultimately, the goal is to create a collaborative atmosphere prioritizing student success regardless of political leanings and beliefs. When schools and families work together as partners, we not only enhance the educational experience for students but also cultivate a culture of respect and understanding that benefits everyone involved. It’s time to move away from blame and toward collaboration, recognizing that we are all on the same team, striving for the best outcomes for our students. Schools and teachers can start by modeling how they expect to be treated.
Have a question that you’d like Career Confidential to answer? Email ssackstein@educatorsrising.org. All names and schools will remain confidential. No identifying information will be included in the published questions and answers.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Starr Sackstein
Starr Sackstein is the Massachusetts state coordinator for PDK’s Educators Rising program, COO of Mastery Portfolio, an education consultant, instructional coach, and author. She was a high school English and journalism teacher and school district curriculum leader. She is the author of more than 15 educational books, including Hacking Assessment (Times 10, 2015), Making an Impact Outside of the Classroom (Routledge, 2024), and Actionable Assessment (Routledge, 2026).
Visit their website at: https://www.mssackstein.com/
