Q: I’m hoping I can entice you to answer my question by pointing out that it will be a great topic for an end-of-the-year piece! I discovered your column last year and then went back and read all your older ones. They’ve been helpful to me as an assistant principal, and I think all administrators would benefit from hearing a counselor’s perspective. I’m now settling into a new role as a principal intern. I’ve been mentored and guided by some awesome principals and completed a multiyear training program to get to this place, and I think I’m ready. I’m excited to lead and serve my community. But while I feel confident that I’ve got a handle on the nuts and bolts of the job, I’ve also seen and heard enough to know that I’m bound to be humbled in no time. So, here’s my big-picture question: If you were to create a list of all the ways new principals could avoid screwing up, what would be your Top 10 tips?
A: Thank you for reading the column, and you definitely know how to entice me — I love a good Top 10 list! This one will be a fun challenge. Here goes:
- Ask for help. Know your blind spots. Do you avoid conflict? Deliberate too long over dilemmas? Struggle to remember district policies and procedures? Tend to trust the wrong people? There’s no shame in seeking guidance. Just make sure you don’t create an echo chamber and that you consult knowledgeable, trustworthy people. This is where it also can be helpful to have a professional learning community, whether you find one online or meet regularly with other administrators in your district.
- Keep the focus on kids. Presumably, this is why you got into education. Greet them at the door and in the halls, sit at their lunch tables, hold regular focus groups with them, solicit their ideas and concerns in writing, and make time to reinforce values and expectations. Not only will this help you prioritize students’ needs, but it will keep you joyful.
- Overcommunicate with staff. I’ve gotten many letters from principals who feel frustrated that teachers aren’t responsive to their directives, whether they relate to making sexist comments or engaging in contentious email exchanges with parents. If you don’t want your words to evaporate into the ether, give specifics. For instance, say, “It’s not OK to suggest that a female colleague show off her legs whenever she has to deal with a difficult father.” Provide a compelling rationale, too. You might say, “It’s not only degrading and unprofessional, but two of your colleagues already have complained to HR, and your job is in jeopardy.” Then offer concrete help: “Let’s check in weekly until I’m confident that you understand and can comply with these expectations.” For the record, teachers want clear and open communication.
- Practice self-care. Educators are givers by nature, but you can’t support anyone if you’re depleted. Exercise, get sleep, eat well, spend time with friends and loved ones, and build in time for reflection. Journaling can be a helpful way to process daily highs and lows. You’re going to field a lot of complaints, and emotion contagion is real. Follow the 4 to 1 rule: For every negative interaction, try to seek out four positive ones.
- Mix up your mistakes. Yes, you’re going to be humbled. There’s no shame in failing, but do a solid postmortem so you don’t make the same mistake twice. What would you do differently if the same thing happened again? If the mistake harmed someone, apologize. Ask the person what you need to do to make it right, focusing more on impact than intent. It doesn’t weaken your authority (and likely will decrease your exposure to liability) to admit you erred and to make amends.
- Know your core values. Go online and print a list of values. (For example, here’s a Values Card Sort that includes 100 items, ranging from safety to compassion to ambition.) Choose the 10 that matter most to you, rank them in order, and review them often. When faced with a thorny dilemma, make the choice that’s most in accordance with your values. You won’t always get it right, but you’ll be able to defend your decision and probably will have fewer regrets.
- Be sensitive to power dynamics. You have the most power in the building, and students have the least power. Your most important job is to protect kids, particularly the most vulnerable ones. You also have an obligation to protect your staff, whether they’re dealing with a raging parent, an out-of-control student or abuse from one of their own colleagues. As a principal once told me, any educator who wrecks the culture for others need to be “voted off the island.” To earn the trust of your teachers, swiftly identify and stamp out bad behavior.
- Leverage staff members’ strengths. Every weakness comes with a strength. That relentlessly negative department chair may be the only one speaking truth to power. That intense special educator may be an incredibly powerful advocate for kids. That math teacher who needs endless external validation may be the most sensitive mediator in the building. Focus on individuals’ strengths 80% of the time, understand that people are complicated, and try to learn something from everyone. You’ll be more likely to foster a kind, forgiving culture, and that will trickle down to kids.
- Diversify your experiences. It’s important to put down roots and stay in one place long enough to make a difference, but there’s something to be said for working with varying age groups or in schools with different needs. You can learn in place, too. A retired middle school principal told me he made a point of teaching kindergarten for a few days every year. It helped him remember where his students started and how far they’d come.
- Learn from other fields. Administrators need to be lifelong learners. It’s important to be aware of advances in education and to attend education-related conferences. But you should also consider venturing farther afield. You’ll become a better leader, problem solver, and innovator by reading about everything from organizational psychology to adaptive leadership to brain science. The broader your knowledge base, the more creativity and confidence you’ll bring to the table.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
