Q: My colleagues have been talking a lot lately about better pay at nearby districts, and many of them have told me they’re already firing off applications to teach in these other districts. When I comment that the grass isn’t always greener, they say that may be true, but then they may as well get paid more. They’re determined to make a switch and aren’t conflicted about the decision. They also involve everyone within earshot in these conversations, which tend to occur in the staff lounge or at the end of department meetings, so they’re hard to avoid.
This has been creating some internal tension for me. I’d of course like to make more money. And, like many teachers these days, I also have frustrations related to how my district treats employees, but I’m generally happy at my school. If I weren’t privy to their conversations, I doubt I’d be considering a job shift. At the same time, I don’t want to be short-sighted — the last loser on a sinking ship. How does one determine whether to “jump ship”? How heavily should I be weighing compensation against other factors such as job satisfaction? And how should I respond to colleagues who make dumb comments and make me feel stupid and naïve when I tell them I don’t think I’ll apply elsewhere?
A: I’ll start with your last question. Determine who has earned your trust and only discuss your career plans with these individuals. Have these talks in private, too. You might conclude, for instance, that there’s no upside to weighing your options with current colleagues. And while you can’t stop someone from firing off a judgmental comment, you can limit their opportunities to make you feel dumb and naïve. You also can try not to internalize their critical statements, which likely reflect their own internal tension. You note that they aren’t conflicted about their decision to apply elsewhere, but if that were true, they wouldn’t be initiating so many conversations about their choices in public forums. Plus, consider the “spotlight effect,” a term psychologists use to refer to an individual’s tendency to overestimate how much others are thinking about them. Research shows that people are far more preoccupied with themselves than with others’ flaws or missteps.
As you consider your goals, keep in mind that change is hard because you know what you stand to lose but not what you stand to gain
Your first question is more complicated. You wonder if you should leave your school district for the possibility of higher pay when you’re generally happy with your current situation. As you’ve noted, there’s more at stake than money. Higher pay could come with less autonomy, a less supportive principal, or stingier benefits. (On the other hand, it could come with less judgmental colleagues!) Resist the inclination to think in all-or-nothing terms. Whatever you do doesn’t have to be a “forever” decision. You could leave but decide to return to your current district (or go in another direction entirely) at some point down the road.
The trickiest part is tuning out all the internal and external “noise.” That might require walking away from the staff lounge or a meeting when people are talking about this topic. (If you decide to stay, that kind of negativity can bring you down.) Take all the time you need to reflect on your own needs and values. As you consider your goals, keep in mind that change is hard because you know what you stand to lose but not what you stand to gain. It may be less intuitive, but standing still also comes with “opportunity cost,” or the loss of potential gains. For instance, while starting over requires adjusting to new colleagues, expectations, and systems, stretching yourself can open new doors, expand your knowledge, and feel energizing.
There’s no one right answer, which hopefully is reassuring. Allow for shades of gray and avoid false dichotomies. This doesn’t have to be a “now or never” decision. You could spend a year watching how well the transition works for colleagues who leave. You could use the rest of the school year to gather information about other districts, perhaps even shadow a teacher elsewhere for a day or two. You could even fire off applications while you’re considering your options. You don’t have to accept another position, and simply going through the interview process might give you a better “feel” for other places. There are many ways to come to as informed a decision as possible, from making lists of pros and cons to meeting with a career coach. Whatever you do, do it on your own terms. What’s right for your colleagues isn’t necessarily what’s right for you.
Click here for more Career Confidential
Have a question that you’d like Career Confidential to answer? Email contactphyllisfagell@gmail.com. All names and schools will remain confidential. No identifying information will be included in the published questions and answers.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
