Administrator wants to ‘restore reputation’ after getting demoted

Q: I started out as a teacher’s aide when I was still in college many moons ago. Since then, I’ve been a teacher, department chair, instructional specialist, assistant principal and, most recently, a principal, all in a big suburban school system. I was promoted at the beginning of the pandemic from assistant principal (AP) to principal of a (different) high school in the same county where I’d always worked. 

Throughout my career, I have been respected and well-liked and seen as a hard-working educator. Last year, however, I unraveled. I think the stress and exhaustion caught up to me. I checked out, made mistakes, and started misusing drugs to prop up my energy. It all happened so quickly. When I started to miss work, several staff members called my supervisor to say they were concerned about my “stability, mental health, and reliability.” I know the whole community was gossiping about me, to the point that my supervisor made me take time off and get help. If I refused, I would have been fired. I got help and eventually got healthy, but it was too little too late. While I wasn’t fired, I lost my position and was moved out of my school. This year, I’m back to being an AP in a high school.

I wish I had taken leave instead of “breaking down” and getting a demotion. I wish I could make it all go away, but I can’t turn back the clock. Is it too late to restore my reputation and get a principalship again? While I understand why I’m in the position I’m in, and I know it’s my own fault, it’s hard to be an AP again and lose decision-making authority. Also, is there anything I can do to prove to others that I’m stable, reliable, and in good mental health? Word got around fast, and although I’m ashamed of my behavior, I feel like I deserve a second chance. I was a good leader before things went very wrong.