Q: As a middle school principal, I’ve been careful to keep my job search private. I’m not big on self-disclosure, there’s no reason for anyone to know my plans, and I don’t think any good would come from people knowing. I have a problem now, though. A few staff members do know. I’m not sure who told them, but I’m applying within my own district, so it’s not entirely shocking that someone spilled the beans.
As background, this won’t be seen by others as a straightforward decision, as I’m not seeking a promotion. In my district, high school principals get paid more than middle school principals and generally are viewed as higher in the hierarchy. Many staff would understand why I’d want that kind of change, even if they don’t like it. But I’m interested in leading another middle school, preferably one with a different student population and a different set of needs. Frankly, I’d like to work with new people, too. There’s nothing wrong with my staff, but I’ve been at my current school for 14 years and feel like I’ve maxed out on the difference I can make here. I’m bored and burned out. Even with the twists and turns of the pandemic, every day feels like Groundhog Day. I can predict what objection certain staff members will have to an initiative before I float it, and I can more or less guess how parents will react to any change in school policy.
My students are high performers from wealthy families, so our test scores are impressive whether I kill myself at work or dial it in. I want to work in a place where I have to earn results and can’t anticipate every conflict. While it’s helpful to know who my friends, enemies, and frenemies are, I’d rather have a clean slate and a fresh opportunity to learn and make a difference. How should I handle my search, given that some already know that I’m looking? Should I ask those people to keep it on the down low, knowing they probably will gossip anyway? Should I be candid about my intentions and tell everyone? And if I’m truthful, how can I message this in a way that helps people understand my reasoning and doesn’t damage the culture at my school — whether I stay or go?
A: In some ways, I think the pandemic is going to help you here. You’re far from alone when it comes to experiencing burnout or fantasizing about change. Besides, it’s not your job to convince anyone that your reasons for wanting to move to another middle school are valid. Your reasons are your reasons, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Plus, you’re not doing anything really out there, such as leaving education entirely to become an ice cream taste tester. I suspect that others will understand and accept your explanation.
Your two bigger questions relate to whether you should disclose the job search to your entire staff, and how you can preserve morale if others learn that you’re trying to leave. You might want to be true to your temperament. You mention that you’re not big on self-disclosure and that you’d prefer to keep the search to yourself. Perhaps, then, you’d be best served by asking the staff who found out to keep the information to themselves. Hopefully, they’ll abide by your wishes. But even if they don’t, their confidantes would not be at liberty to bring it up with you.
If you choose to be more open, or if you end up fielding colleagues’ questions despite your best efforts, then be sure to keep your language upbeat and positive. For instance, instead of saying you’ve outgrown the job, say that you’re interested in exploring new challenges. You also can truthfully say that you owe it to yourself to see what’s out there, or that it’s normal to look around, but that doesn’t mean you’ve decided to leave the school. Or you can choose a variation on the deflection theme and say that you have no plans to leave yet, or that you hope to be there as long as you can make a difference, or that you’d be happy to stay put. Be clear that you’re focused on the present and excited to lead the school this year. Don’t shut down, check out, or disappear. In other words, don’t appear to have one foot out the door. Throughout, talk about the many things you love about your school and how you’re thrilled to continue to make contributions to the community. Build people up and point out their strengths on a regular basis, too. Make it clear that you want to support their career goals as well. Encourage other leaders in the school — such as department chairs or an assistant principal — to do the same. If you leave, these other leaders can help preserve the culture, and if you stay, you’ll be glad you stayed positive.
You’re right that a school leader leaving (or simply considering leaving) can damage morale and be unsettling. It can lead staff members to question their own decision to stay or create fear that you’ll take people with you. It can lead to instability if teachers question your long-term buy-in to projects, or if they worry that they won’t like your replacement. Acknowledge these real fears, be clear that you’re loyal and protective of your staff, and emphasize that if you leave, you’ll do whatever it takes to ease the transition. And in case you need to hear it, you have every right to pursue your career aspirations.
Click here for more Career Confidential
Have a question that you’d like Career Confidential to answer? Email contactphyllisfagell@gmail.com. All names and schools will remain confidential. No identifying information will be included in the published questions and answers.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
