Q: I know this is an unusual time. It is for all of us. But shouldn’t my principal respond to my emails during virtual learning? I am sick of sending him questions and getting zero responses. If I were a parent, he’d be required to respond within 48 hours! As a teacher, the absence of any response whatsoever during this horribly difficult period feels very disrespectful and frustrating. It’s also adding insult to injury. Teachers always seem to be the last ones to know what’s going on. My questions are reasonable, too. I’ve wanted to know about things such as how to handle a specific or unusual disciplinary issue during virtual instruction or, more recently, how inclement weather might impact virtual instruction, if at all. We’re constantly having to shift on a dime, so he should be sharing whatever he knows and giving us as much information as possible. Leaving aside the fact that I think he should respond to my one-off emails, I’m even more concerned that he doesn’t consider me worthy of a response. I’m not looking to get on his bad side, and I don’t want to take him on directly, but is there something else I can do to ensure he takes me, and my emails, seriously?
A: The short answer is that yes, he should respond to your emails. However, I wouldn’t assume that there’s something about you in particular that’s preventing him from responding to you. He might be overwhelmed or disorganized and failing to respond to others’ emails, too. If you’re concerned that this has something to do with you specifically, ask a colleague you trust to assess your written communication skills. Is it possible you bury your questions so deep in the emails that the principal doesn’t realize you’re even asking a question? Or that they’re written in such a convoluted way, he sets them aside to parse later and then forgets about them? Or perhaps you’re sending an excessive number of emails, or posing questions that he’s already answered in some other context. Or maybe your questions could be better directed to someone else, such as a department chair, central office employee, assistant principal, front office secretary, or colleague. Confirm that the answers aren’t readily available on your district’s website, too. You’re right that everyone’s lives are complicated right now, and the principal’s job involves a lot of moving parts under the best of circumstances, so make sure you’re getting to the point quickly and making your purpose clear.
If you’re sure you’re sending clear, infrequent, appropriate emails and that he’s the right contact person, then consider getting his attention in a different way. Perhaps his assistant could put you on his Zoom schedule or recommend a good time to talk on the phone. If you’re in the building for any reason, you could ask him the question in person. You say that you’re not eager to address this with him directly (often the most effective approach), but you could send a follow-up email that says, “I’m sure you’re inundated with emails, so I wanted to flag my question in case it got buried.” And it’s not confrontational to inquire respectfully about his preferred mode of communication. For all you know, email is the bane of his existence.
In general, try not to personalize this. Show him some grace as well, especially if he was responsive to you before the pandemic. And recognize that you might be feeling especially sensitive right now. In the absence of in-person interactions, it’s easy to assume the worst, but it’s just as possible that he’s underwater himself and completely unaware that you feel disrespected.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
