Q: My school is planning to offer a hybrid model this fall, with some face-to-face and some virtual learning. However, given the limited resources my district has, I just don’t know how we’re going to be able to swing all the complicated but necessary cleaning regimens, extra supplies, and extra staff we’ll need to get kids back in the building safely. I suspect that our central office folks are just trying to appease the masses with talk of some kind of return.
I’m conflicted. On one hand, I think distance learning is the pits. Even though a lot of teachers have worked their butts off to make it effective, many students have been getting little or nothing out of it, for a variety of reasons — maybe they’re stressed and overwhelmed, or lack good WiFi access, or have learning issues and need special supports, or have other family responsibilities that are getting in the way, and so on. Clearly, in-person instruction serves most kids much better, and we should all bend over backward to reopen our schools and classrooms. On the other hand, I just don’t feel OK about going back to school in a few months. I don’t have preexisting conditions, but I have family members who do, and who spend tons of time with my family. I’m not a risk taker in any area of my life, and I worry constantly about worst-case scenarios.
Here’s my problem: I’ve decided that if we reopen our school building in September, I won’t go back, but I feel terrible about that decision. I know that thousands of doctors and nurses are working on the front lines without proper protective gear, not to mention all the people delivering mail and working in grocery stores, and I wish I were that brave. But I’m not. So how can I reconcile my views, and is there anything I can do to get myself to a place where I might be OK, emotionally, with heading back into the classroom? Because that’s where I want to land.
A: You are right on both accounts. First, it will be hard for some schools to reopen in person. Your district isn’t the only one trying to work through concerns regarding scheduling, transportation, liability, hygiene, physical distancing, and leave policies while also dealing with budget shortfalls and many safety unknowns. Schools are likely to need everything from extra staffing to more involved screening and cleaning regimens. There’s a reason for all the unanswered questions.
Second, you’re absolutely correct that students are falling through the cracks. In some cities, as many as 35% of students are getting no education at all. Kids from lower socioeconomic backgrounds are getting hit the hardest, so the opportunity gap is real and widening. The pandemic has exposed and exacerbated inequities in education, primary health care, mental health services, and many other areas. The sooner kids are back in school, the better their access to counselors, social services, and other resources.
Right now, everyone is weighing these pros and cons, trying to determine whether it’s best to reopen their schools or keep them closed. Which brings me to your question: How can you feel less scared about returning to the classroom?
First, recognize that you’re not alone. Many teachers are nervous about returning to brick-and-mortar learning. Your feelings are normal. But remember that it’s other people’s job right now to work through all the variables and plan and then plan some more for different scenarios. You don’t have that responsibility and may, in fact, be better off taking a step back for a while. Consider giving yourself a mental break while experts and decision makers collect data. We’re heading into summer, but schools around the world have announced plans to reopen, and UNICEF has reported that hundreds of millions of students returned to school in recent weeks. That means that districts in this country will soon have access to a ton of information that will help them develop new policies and procedures for fall. They’ll be gathering evidence and weighing benefits and risks.
As they do that, try to focus on pulling any extreme thoughts to the center. You might benefit from seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist, making an extra effort to distract yourself when you find yourself ruminating, or reaching out to specific students you think could use support. We’re wired to want answers, to resolve uncertainty, to avoid risk, to attempt to control whatever variables we can. You’re struggling because there are still many unknowns, and you have little control. It’s OK to give yourself permission to set your concerns aside temporarily and revisit them later, when, I hope, we’ll have more data about how and when we can safely return to school.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
