How can educators communicate more effectively with parents whose experiences with racist stereotypes have made them wary?

All parents hope that their children will sail smoothly through the K-12 years, flourishing in school and steering toward future success. At the same time, all parents dread receiving a call from a teacher or administrator letting them know that their child has hit rough waters or, much worse, may not be capable of reaching their desired goals. And when they do receive such a call or email, many parents are resistant to the message, especially if the parent believes there is a legitimate reason to distrust the messenger, which is more likely to be the case if the person on the other end rarely reaches out or only does so when there is bad news to share. If school personnel have made few genuine efforts to cultivate a relationship with them, then why should parents believe what they’re told about their child? Further, cultural and racial differences often exacerbate the tension, especially when it is a white educator calling to inform parents of color about a problem in school.

From the educator’s point of view, it makes little sense for parents to be so resistant: If the school reaches out to express concern about their children, then doesn’t refusing to accept the message undermine their children’s success? But for many parents, pushing back against negative reports is a way to protect their children from harm. Indeed, every educator should keep in mind that a parent’s first responsibility is to ensure their children’s physical and emotional safety. The more a parent believes a child to be at risk, the more protective that parent will be. And when parents suspect that the school does not always have their child’s interests at heart, the more vigilant they will be, especially when they hear disparaging assessments of their child’s performance.

Parents of color, in particular, are likely to be on high alert for double standards and stereotyping that could influence how the school treats their children. And while it may be uncomfortable for white educators to receive pushback from those parents, they shouldn’t be surprised to receive it, given the history of negative interactions that many parents of color have had with academic institutions (Buchanan & Clark, 2017). If anything, they should take it as a sign that the school hasn’t done enough to create and maintain a trusting relationship with students and their family members.

A matter of trust

A recent review of research into the role of trust in education (Niedlich et al., 2021) suggests that we have a great deal to learn in this area. Much of the research to date has been conducted outside the U.S., relies on survey data, and focuses on distinct segments of the population (e.g., parents of kindergarten students, immigrant families, or parents of children with disabilities). This means the findings tend to be quite narrow and may not generalize to other contexts.

Still, a few consistent findings have emerged from research. Perhaps most important, higher levels of trust tend to be correlated with higher levels of parental involvement and engagement, better parent-teacher communication, stronger relationships, more positive teacher beliefs and attitudes about students and their parents, and more teacher outreach. Trust has also been found to be fluid, appearing to be at its strongest when children are in elementary school, decreasing in the middle grades, and falling still further in high school (Adams & Christenson, 2000).

Every educator should keep in mind that a parent’s first responsibility is to ensure their children’s physical and emotional safety.

One of the most important findings from the research is that trust among members of the school community is positively related to student outcomes (Goddard, Tschannen-Moran, & Hoy, 2001) as well, possibly because parents who trust their children’s teachers tend to be more engaged (Santiago et al., 2016). Parental involvement also consistently enhances the quality of teacher-parent relationships, regardless of other demographic variables. Their engagement is greater when teachers extend invitations to parents (Nzinga-Johnson, Baker, & Aupperlee, 2009), and the more specific the invitation, the more likely parents are to participate, no matter the obstacles they have to overcome, such as having to arrange for transportation and childcare. If educators explain how their engagement can be helpful to their child’s success, then parents tend to find ways to participate. The clearer and more detailed the communication, the more successful educators tend to be in fostering trust with parents — and the quality of the communication seems to matter more than the quantity (Adams & Christenson, 2000).

It is important to note, however, that when it comes to the importance of trust in schools, teachers appear to matter even more than parents (Adams & Christenson, 2000). That is, the level of trust that teachers have in students and parents is an even stronger predictor of student outcomes than is parents’ level of trust in teachers —  researchers have found, though, that teachers tend to be less trusting of low-income parents and parents of color (Janssen et al., 2012). And, more generally, teachers tend to report that they are less trusting of parents whom they regard as dissimilar from themselves (Niedlich et al., 2021).

Communication disconnects

Unfortunately, both the quantity and quality of teachers’ communication with parents can be influenced by racial stereotypes. A study by Hua-Yu Cherng (2016), based on feedback from close to 10,000 teachers in the U.S., found that teachers were more likely to reach out to Black and Latinx families if their children misbehaved, but they were less likely to tell them about their children’s accomplishments than they were to inform white families. And they were less likely to reach out to Asian parents to share any feedback — positive or negative. These patterns can leave parents of color feeling marginalized and believing that their engagement is unwanted (Carreón, Drake, & Barton, 2005) — some Black parents have reported that they feel unwelcome in the school building (Froiland & Davison, 2014). These findings show that, in many cases, the parents whom teachers reach out to the least, particularly with positive news or encouragement, are those who would benefit the most from such outreach.

While racial difference between parents and educators has been associated with lower and more negative teacher communications, race is not the only factor that affects how parents interact with schools. In a well-known study, for example, the sociologist Annette Lareau and her colleagues (2002) found that economic class was a much stronger factor than race when it came to communication and misunderstandings among parents and educators — more affluent parents tended to communicate in ways that were similar to the communication styles of their children’s (mostly middle-class) teachers, and their parenting behaviors also tended to be closely aligned with teachers’ expectations (and were associated with higher test scores and graduation rates). By contrast, misunderstandings were common among teachers and less affluent parents. For instance, working-class parents tended to assume that they shouldn’t interfere with teachers’ work; however, teachers tended to interpret this as disinterest in their children’s education. Similarly, other researchers have found that parents of lower socioeconomic status or marginalized backgrounds (Niedlich et al., 2021); parents of children identified as having learning disabilities (Connor & Cavendish, 2018); and parents who are immigrants (Mitchell & Bryan, 2007) tend to report more challenges in communicating with their children’s schools.

Such disconnects can easily reduce parents’ trust. In a 2017 Kappan article, for example, researcher Jung-Ah Choi, who was raised in Korea, described the challenges of coping with cultural ignorance among the teachers and staff at her child’s elementary school in the U.S. Eventually, the teachers’ lack of curiosity about her son’s background, and their seeming disinterest in her efforts to help them learn more, led her to withdraw from the sorts of “parent involvement” that the school encouraged.

In many cases, the parents whom teachers reach out to the least, particularly with positive news or encouragement, are those who would benefit the most from such outreach.

Note that the solution to miscommunication and distrust is not for educators to avoid calling parents with concerns about their children. Nor should they express their concern in a way that seems to minimize it. Doing so may actually lead to a phenomenon I call the “Pollyanna effect” (Brown, 2013), which occurs when the school delivers a difficult message in such a sugar-coated manner that parents are left to believe there’s no cause for alarm and no need for action. In effect, because the school is so hesitant to make it clear that there’s a serious problem, the student never gets the help they need.

While the Pollyanna effect can harm students from any background, my own observations suggest that it is particularly common when white educators communicate with Black families. When educators fear that Black parents will be resistant to their concerns, they tend to soften the message by prefacing it with positive and upbeat information about the child — which suggests that, on balance, things are going well. Then, since they assume they’ve done enough to express their concerns, they may be tempted to blame the parents for their lack of follow-through (which adds fuel to negative stereotypes about the value Black families place on education and their capacity to support their children’s academic progress). Trust depends on honesty and openness (Hoy & Tschannen-Moran, 1999) — neither of which is exhibited in this kind of scenario — and a lack of clarity and straightforwardness only gives parents more reasons to distrust the teacher (Adams & Christenson, 2000).

To a large extent, these problems are likely grounded in the country’s patterns of residential and social segregation. In recent studies, most white Americans — a demographic that includes most teachers and school administrators — report that their core social networks are made up exclusively of people who are also white (Cox et al., 2020). And given such limited firsthand interactions with people of color, it’s no surprise that many white Americans’ views of Black people would be shaped by popular media, entertainment, and other dubious sources of information (Adams, Forsyth, & Mitchell, 2009). Nor is it a surprise that many white educators would harbor unconscious stereotypes about “the angry Black parent.” Indeed, one study found that teachers frequently perceive Black parents to be overly difficult and confrontational (Diamond & Gomez, 2004). If a parent’s responsibility is to protect their child from harm, a teacher’s negative judgment may lead the parent to question the accuracy of that teacher’s beliefs about their child. The parent’s wariness may, in turn, be interpreted as aggressive or angry by the teacher when what the parent is actually experiencing is closer to disappointment, resignation, or frustration — very different sentiments from anger.

Understanding Black families’ perspectives

Educators who want to understand how Black students — and, by extension, their parents — are experiencing the local schools, may be able to find stories of their experiences on social media. For example, after the 2020 protests against the murders of George Floyd and other Black people by police, a series of Black@name-your-school Instagram accounts appeared, in which students of color began sharing their personal stories about the microaggressions and blatant racism they experienced at their schools. And because school staff were often the perpetrators in these accounts, it is not unreasonable for both Black parents and students to wonder if their child’s teacher, principal, or other school leader is complicit. Such testimonies could easily lead parents to think that their children are not truly valued or made to feel that they belong in the school community. Belonging and being valued (Adams, Forsyth, & Mitchell, 2009) — along with being protected from racism (Thompson, 2003) — are key factors associated with the trust of Black parents.

Some may ask why parents of color would send their children to schools that they have so many reasons to distrust — for instance, why do some affluent parents choose private or predominantly white public schools, if they have the means to enroll their children somewhere else? The answer is that parents of color make their decisions for the very same reasons as other parents: They choose the school that seems to be the best of the available options and that appears to provide a gateway to future opportunities. They might not be satisfied with every aspect of that school, however. Any choice will involve some compromises, and for many Black parents in the U.S., even the most affluent Black parents, it’s simply not possible to find a school that they can entirely trust to do right by their children.

Suggestions for cultivating parental trust

Although the landscape may be difficult to navigate, white educators can take some steps to build trust and lessen resistance from Black parents.

Consider the parent’s perspective. When communicating with parents, ask yourself why the parent might or might not agree with and follow the school’s recommendations. Instead of resorting to stereotypes about angry Black parents, consider more benign explanations for their behavior, such as a desire to protect their child. Think also about how you can effectively show parents that you care about and believe in their children. In one study, when asked to identify what factors besides communication would augment their own trust in educators, parents pointed to teachers’ sensitivity to individual needs and their dedication to education and to creating a positive academic environment (Adams & Christenson, 2000). This suggests that not all teachers were adequately demonstrating these attitudes nor creating what parents believed to be positive teaching environments. Because perspectives and expectations differ, it might be worth asking families in your school community what evidence of these efforts would look like.

Remember, it is the quality, not the quantity, of communication that parents value.

Be willing to engage with everyone. Research certainly suggests that teachers are less willing to engage with certain parents. School leaders may need to remind teachers how and when they could engage with parents, especially those to whom they feel less connected and whom they trust less. Distrust breeds more distrust and decreases the likelihood of collaboration or a productive relationship on behalf of the student. Similarly, educators should be aware of Lareau’s research (2002) suggesting that middle-class and affluent parents tend to interact with schools in ways that are closely aligned with teachers’ styles of communication, while lower-income parents and teachers are more likely to misunderstand each other. Assuming that all parents would like their children to be successful, schools should make a special effort to ensure that all parents, not just the most affluent ones, understand how they can support their children’s learning. Administrators should spend faculty-development time addressing current strategies for engaging all parents in supporting their children, evaluating their successes, and revising as needed.

Know your parents of color and their needs. When teachers show genuine interest in their students’ families, it communicates that they care about both the students and their parents, and it invites family participation. School districts have taken a variety of approaches to create a stronger connection between schools and families (Epstein, 1995). For example, some districts with large numbers of immigrant families have created “parent universities,” teaching whatever content is of interest to parents (e.g., English language courses). Some schools have sought to connect families with each other, sometimes across schools, to build community and create a sense of social support, especially for newcomers and those who may trust fellow parents more readily than members of the school faculty and administration. Such networks also serve to apprise parents informally about school culture and what it has to offer in support of their children. At one high school in California, teachers and staff visit the home of each incoming freshman to identify possible family needs (e.g., internet access, a computer loan, language classes). Such visits are also an opportunity to learn directly from families about the hopes and dreams they have for their children (Ferlazzo, 2011). Understanding what parents want enables educators to have more meaningful conversations with the parents of the children they teach about how parents and teachers, together, can help make their children’s journeys smoother. When educators approach these conversations with curiosity and an acknowledgment that they may not have all the answers, they are better able to foster collaboration and move toward a shared goal. Remember, it is the quality, not the quantity, of communication that parents value.

In many regards, understanding parents of color, especially Black parents, is no different from understanding any other parent or group of parents. But, for white teachers, gaining the trust of some parents of color may initially be more challenging than with white parents. It is important to understand that, for parents who have reason to distrust, small slips can result in larger ruptures, and you will need to work doubly hard to repair them. However, it is equally important to understand that many Black parents understand how education is even more crucial to their children’s advancement than it is for white children, making the parents of these students potentially stronger allies once they know that both they and the school have the same goals.

References

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This article appears in the March 2022 issue of Kappan, Vol. 103, No. 6, pp. 46-51.