Q: I’ve worked in the same large school district for roughly 10 years, but I’m new to my current school. It’s only October, yet here I am, already thinking I made a grave mistake. I thought I needed a change after working through the pandemic in a high-needs school, so I took this position, which is in a more affluent part of the county. The “student part” has worked out fine. The problem is the adults — or rather, one adult. I had a bizarre run-in last week with the chair of my department. She was ticked off that I wouldn’t cover two periods at the end of the day for a teacher who fell ill and had to go home early.
I’m a team player and normally would have no problem covering for her, but in this case I truly couldn’t. My department chair even knew in advance that I had to leave early that day. I had told her a week earlier that I needed to take my own daughter to the doctor. She had an appointment with a specialist that took me weeks to book. My supervisor, however, said she didn’t understand why I couldn’t “just reschedule” the appointment since she was “in a bind.” Her attitude bothered me, but that’s not why I’m so upset. When I told my supervisor that I wouldn’t be able to move the appointment, she SCREAMED at me. I don’t mean that her tone was offensive, or that it “felt” like she was screaming at me. She was YELLING. I was quiet and didn’t make a peep, but she still kept going . . . and going.
I am now thinking I need to find a different job for next year. Is there any way this could work out? I’m the new teacher and have no social capital yet, while she’s been there forever, so I’m wary of talking to my principal. I don’t want to be seen as a complainer. I also don’t know if he’s close to her, and I worry that he’ll even agree with her! Plus, even if I leave next year, I still have the entire school year ahead of me! I don’t need the tension of her thinking I went above her head the second month of school. What should I do?
A: If you don’t want to go above your department chair’s head, why not go directly to her? If you’re comfortable, schedule a time to talk when you’re both less upset. Yes, you are brand-new colleagues and barely know one another, but that means you have no way of knowing whether she’s a habitual screamer or acted out of character. If she doesn’t typically behave that way, then she might welcome an opportunity to clear the air. Whether or not she’s apologetic or embarrassed, you can use the time to draw a boundary and make it clear that you expect to be treated professionally and with respect.
Let’s say she is a screamer. If that’s true, then I’m sure you’re not the only target of her ire. Some of your colleagues likely have been on the receiving end as well. In which case, I’m not sure why it matters that your principal hardly knows you. He knows her, and I doubt he’d be surprised to learn that she lost control or behaved unprofessionally.
Whether or not you talk to your department chair, consider keeping a log of your interactions. If you’re subjected to a repeat performance and decide to go above her head at a later date, it could be helpful to have a record. In the meantime, you don’t need to make any decisions about next year. Focus on getting to know your new colleagues and adjusting to your new school. Over time, I suspect you’ll learn more about your new supervisor from other teachers in your department. They may even commiserate or offer tips on “managing up.” I hope the situation improves!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
