Not like the rest: Should teacher conform to be like coworkers?

Q:  I’m a middle school teacher, and I don’t fit the mold at my school. It’s a pretty straight-and-narrow place. People talk about their kids, their new countertops, or the weather. I’m not following a traditional life path. I’m not interested in any of those topics. I often wish I could whip out my phone and tune out. Occasionally, young, outside-the-box teachers like me will show up, but they always end up leaving within two years. It’s just too hard to try to be something they’re not. No one is mean, but everyone kind of dresses the same and follows the same script and approaches their jobs and lives the same way. I don’t want to generalize too much, but I definitely feel very different. So here’s my question: How can I either engage colleagues who are nothing like me, or change my mind-set such that I don’t need that close connection?

A: I love that you’re a middle school teacher, because middle schoolers often feel the exact same way. I’m thrilled for your quirky, outside-the-box students because I’m sure they benefit from having a relatable role model like you.

Generally speaking, I don’t think anyone should feel pressure to conform. I don’t want you to try to be something you’re not. Nevertheless, whether you’re a student or a teacher, you need a couple solid peer connections. Let’s say one of your students came to you with this dilemma. Much as you have to go to work, they have to go to school. They may as well make the best of the situation. What would you tell them? That same advice would apply to you. Sometimes, our best insights come when we step back and create some distance from the problem.