Let’s be careful out there

Every job comes with its own set of interpersonal challenges. As a magazine editor, for instance, I work closely with authors to help them revise and polish the articles they’ve submitted for publication. If you’ve ever been asked to give people feedback on their writing, then I’m sure you understand how delicate and uncertain this work can be — delicate because most writers feel deeply invested in and sensitive about their writing; uncertain because no two writers are sensitive in the same way. Some crave feedback and others dread it. Some want friendly encouragement and others prefer firm guidance. In short, there’s no single best way to interact with writers. You have to build a different relationship with each one, trying your best to gauge their sensitivities, gain their trust, and find a good way to work together.

Yet, as complex as the relationship between writers and editors can be, it pales in comparison to the interpersonal drama of everyday life in classrooms and schools. At Kappan, I work with just 10 or 11 writers at a time, most of them for only a couple of weeks, interacting mainly by email. Teachers, though, are constantly “on,” wearing their teacher face for hours at a time and building and maintaining individual relationships over many months, with dozens of children at once — each with their own personality, cultural background, family history, social and emotional needs, fears, hopes, and random quirks. I can’t think of another profession that requires anything close to this amount of intense and extraordinarily complex relational work.

I can’t think of another profession that requires anything close to this amount of intense and extraordinarily complex relational work.