Q: I moved back to the Midwest from the Pacific Northwest several years ago when I was 56. My first job as a teacher here was a challenging position in two schools teaching remedial reading and math to students with behavioral issues. I ate lunch on the road between the schools, and I missed out on teacher planning because I couldn’t be at two places at once. One school didn’t provide a place for my desk or my supplies. Once a spot was found, one of the other teachers told me to “get out” of her space. Then I was called into the principal’s office and was told that I didn’t know how to do my job. I was let go after a confusing meeting. When I again inquired as to why, they told me that my behavior in the community was unacceptable. I had no idea what they were referring to and responded in writing as such.
Every position I’ve had since then has been the same crazy story. I don’t know any of the teachers or the administration. About a week into each job, I start to hear comments from students that I am on drugs and should be arrested. Then students start questioning my teaching and refusing to do their work. I’ve had my grade books changed (prompting students and parents to complain about me), work for the next day taken from my desk, books stolen, cars broken into and damaged, and more.
I’m an excellent teacher. I’m also a grandmother in my early 60s with advanced degrees. I value education highly. I am studious. I am a curriculum guru, and I read extensively and prepare comprehensible, age-appropriate, and thorough lessons for my students. I dress conservatively and am always prepared for class. I never call in sick or very rarely. I put up with all kinds of comments from students.
I’m never asked back (because I’m such a “horrible teacher” compared to the rest of them), and my salary remains low despite my advanced degrees. At best, I can get jobs subbing. To say the least, this is frightening and disheartening to me as a teacher. I would love to sue these people, but the reality is that once done, no one is going to hire me.
I’ve nearly run out of schools that I can apply to that are within a decent driving distance. There’s not much I can do when people are spreading rumors about me to students, prompting them to attack me verbally and even physically. It is very dehumanizing, and the rude comments that I am aggressive and attack people while I am being attacked are very hurtful. I’m so very thankful that I am close to retiring. I can’t take much more of this. The problem is that most of it is very difficult to prove. How can I make the rumors stop and get a stable job where I am treated respectfully?
A: I can appreciate that it’s frustrating and frightening to feel attacked and to repeatedly lose jobs without fully understanding why, particularly since you’re an experienced and highly educated teacher. I’m wondering if you encountered similar challenges when you taught in the Pacific Northwest. If these experiences are new, is something different now? It might be worth consulting with a physician, for instance, about possible changes in your physical or mental health. If you have relatives or friends who know you well and would be willing to weigh in with their observations, that also might yield helpful information.
I’m particularly struck by this line: “Every position I’ve had since then has been the same crazy story.” The fact that this keeps happening to you suggests that you may be missing part of the plotline. Try writing down every piece of feedback you can recall and look for any commonalities. In hindsight, would you do anything differently? If you had to “own your 2 percent,” what would that be? As frustrating as it is, you can’t control the narrative about you, but you can control how you react to rumors and innuendo. With that in mind, do you think you could have reacted differently to students or teachers? You take yourself wherever you go, and you don’t want to make the same mistakes twice, whether that’s trusting the wrong people, being overly reactive, or failing to ask for support when things are falling apart.
Going forward, even if you’re subbing, keep a journal. Look for themes. Consider consulting a career coach or a mental health professional. They can help you match your skills and interests to the right environment and help you identify any blind spots. Based on what you’ve shared, your challenges seem to relate more to missed social cues and rocky interactions with colleagues and students than to professional qualifications or presentation. If you’re self-aware and take the time to be reflective, you’ll increase the odds of turning this around. I wish you well!
*Edited for length, clarity, and to preserve the writer’s identity.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
