Middle school teacher tired of people saying she must have ‘job from hell’ 

Q: I realize that in the grand scheme of things this is a small problem, but why does everyone think it’s OK to make snarky or exaggerated comments when they hear I teach in a middle school? They’ll either say, “I could never do that,” or “You must be a saint,” or “Oh my God, that must be the job from hell.” They often chase those comments with more specific negative statements about middle schoolers being evil or horrible. I’ve never heard someone say to a dentist, “I couldn’t poke at gums all day, yuck,” or tell an orthopedist, “Ewwww, do you actually LIKE setting bones?” I happen to love what I do, and I love middle schoolers, and I find these comments really, really annoying. They are so off-base and make me feel defensive. Any ideas for how to handle these people? Even the people who know it’s flat-out rude to insult someone’s profession seem to have a blind spot when it comes to middle-school educators. I don’t get it. 

A: As someone who loves and works with middle schoolers, too, I couldn’t pass up your question.  

You may find these people less annoying if you understand the psychology behind their behavior. Keep in mind that they actually experienced middle school themselves, and they may remember it as an intense time, full of heightened emotions and tremendous changes in every realm, from the physical to the social to the intellectual. We’re all wired to remember the negative, so even if a woman had a generally happy middle-school experience, she’s going to vividly recall that one time a kid called her a bulldozer when she was 14. Even a secure adult man might meet you and suddenly recall that time two boys tied his shoes together and he tripped down the bus aisle.