Q: As a principal, I try to shield teachers from decisions made above them by the assistant superintendent, a.k.a. my boss. When he visits, it’s like a dark cloud hanging over the building. I try to be authentic when staff complain about him, but he’s still my supervisor. And while I have years of administrative experience in another state, I’m in only my second year as a principal in this district. The reality is that I have a family to support and don’t want to risk getting passed over for tenure. And, frankly, I don’t know which teachers I can trust. I’ve learned to keep my circle small.
Here’s the crux of the issue: Whenever he visits the building or communicates with staff, he’s . . . a total jerk. This is a quantitative, number-crunching sort of guy who talks a big game about kids’ and adults’ social and emotional well-being, but he doesn’t walk the talk. His interactions with my staff and me suggest that he’d benefit from sitting in on a few SEL advisories himself. He’s punitive and cranky as hell, especially when he’s unhappy about school-wide testing results. He never has words of praise for me, let alone my teachers. When he shows up unexpectedly, I can feel the impact of his presence on them for the rest of the day. He enters each classroom looking miserable, and when he emerges, he somehow looks even more miserable. I clearly don’t like him on a personal level, but I’m more worried about the impact he is having on teacher morale. As the saying goes, if you don’t feed the teachers, they’ll eat the kids (and maybe the principal, too!). How can I insulate my staff from my boss without damaging my own relationship with him?
A: You’re not going to change or fix him, but you can be a buffer for your staff. You’re attuned to the ways in which he falls short in their eyes because he makes you feel similarly deflated. Use that knowledge to give your teachers what you wish you were getting from him. For instance, accompany him in the halls and greet any staff members you pass with a smile. Join him when he goes into each classroom and be vocal about the great things your teachers are doing. Point out how they’re innovating, share what they’re doing well, and generally exude the warmth he lacks. Keep track of where he’s been, too, so you can circle back to teachers individually and reassure them that they’re not alone — that he was consistently “himself” with everyone he encountered.
You don’t want to cut down your boss, and I think that’s smart, but I do think it’s safe to make a few gentle jokes at his expense. It might help lighten the mood for you, too. You could give this guy a secret code name (“Mr. Sunshine,” perhaps?), even if you only use it when referring to him in your own head. You can’t change him, but you also can try giving him a few directions. It’s possible he seems so ornery because he’s socially unskilled. You could prompt him to be encouraging to your staff by saying something like: “We’re about to go into Ms. Corrado’s room. She’s new this year, and I know she’s nervous about your visit. I think it would help put her at ease if you spent a few minutes at the end of class talking to her about what she did well.”
If that doesn’t make a difference, you may have to play the long game. I don’t know how long your assistant superintendent will survive in your district, but he sounds insecure and tone deaf, and he’s probably not making a lot of friends in his own office. His colleagues — and the superintendent — may come to recognize (if they haven’t already) that his approach is eroding principals’ and teachers’ trust in the system and could lead to attrition. But he’s not going anywhere this minute, so in the meantime, try to identify other mentors and potential sounding boards. Build relationships with these individuals, invite them to your school and facilitate interactions with your staff. You’ll never convince your teachers that Mr. Sunshine cares about them, but you can bring in others at the district level who do, and you can keep modeling vulnerability and positivity yourself.
Click here for more Career Confidential
Have a question that you’d like Career Confidential to answer? Email contactphyllisfagell@gmail.com. All names and schools will remain confidential. No identifying information will be included in the published questions and answers.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
