By getting to know their students, teachers can more effectively support learning.

Students come to the classroom with varied backgrounds and experiences that have the potential to support rich learning. To realize that potential, though, they need to feel safe, welcome, and secure enough to take risks, particularly to share who they are and what they think. Above all, they depend on their schools to provide them with a positive learning environment where they are valued and accepted and where they can establish and maintain trusting relationships with their teachers (Green, 1997; Noblit, Rogers, & McCadden, 1995).

According to Geneva Gay (2000), caring teachers nurture students with “warmth, intimacy, unity, continuity, safety, and security” while “building confidence, courage, courtesy, compassion, and competence among students from different ethnicities and cultural communities” (pp. 51-52). Positive student-teacher relationships, characterized by such demonstrations of care, have been found to be critical to supporting student learning (Konishi et al., 2010); positive behavior (Longobardi et al., 2018; Myers & Pianta, 2008); strong classroom participation (Opuni, 2012); and school retention (Lessard, Poirier, & Fortin, 2010). Moreover, proactive efforts by teachers to create such relationships tend to be especially beneficial to students of color (e.g., Brown-Jeffy & Cooper, 2011; Newcomer, 2018), particularly when teachers do not share the same cultural background as their students and know little about the experiences and resources that they bring to the classroom from their homes and communities. Such relationships can provide windows into students’ lives outside of school, enabling teachers to better support them and their learning (Foster, 1997).

In our own research, we have examined specific ways in which teachers use social interactions to create a nurturing environment (Wilson et al., 2019). We began by identifying classrooms where mathematics teachers were enacting high-quality standards-based instruction (National Council of Teachers of Mathematics, 2000; National Governors Association & Council of Chief State School Officers, 2010) and where their Black students had demonstrated significantly improved performance on state standardized tests. We then carefully observed those classrooms to identify practices that went above and beyond those that are typically included in researchers’ descriptions of high-quality mathematics instruction (practices such as representing mathematical concepts in multiple ways, connecting math to real-world situations, and eliciting classroom discussions about how best to solve math problems). In other words, we wanted to learn what else these teachers were doing, especially in the interpersonal dimension, that might be helping their Black students succeed.

The teachers who were most successful with historically marginalized students had taken specific steps to establish strong relationships with them.

In classrooms where Black students were making significant improvements in their test performance, we found a number of specific interpersonal practices that we did not find in classrooms where the test performance of Black students was not improving. Further, we went on to observe that these practices were associated with similar test-score gains for other groups of historically marginalized students, such as English learners (Wilson & Smith, in press). Overall, we found that the teachers who were most successful with historically marginalized students had taken specific steps to establish strong relationships with them, creating a nurturing classroom environment.

Positive interactions that build relationships

We identified several ways that teachers worked to build relationships with students, most of which fell into the categories detailed below. These practices are not intended to provide a recipe for building caring relationships with students but, rather, to illustrate the kinds of strategies we observed. Of course, there’s no one best way to create positive social interactions in the classroom. Every teacher will have to find an approach that feels authentic and appropriate, given their students, their school, and their own personality.

Using humor

In the most successful classrooms we observed, teachers often used humor to connect with their students, shift between tasks, introduce potentially difficult material, or break inevitable lulls in the classroom. But, of course, while humor can be a great way to connect with students, it can also fall flat. It won’t help build strong relationships unless students actually find it funny and can relate to it. Gentle, inclusive humor that does not make any individual or group of students feel ridiculed is best. For instance, each of these teacher-initiated comments occurred in the course of typical classroom interactions, and all three elicited laughter from students:

During a class discussion

T: Can anyone tell me about things you collect at home?

S1: I collect Pokémon cards.

S2: Shoes.

S3: My cousin collects coins and dollars, like, money.

T: Oh yeah? Tell your cousin to come see me. (Student smiles)

During a transition

T: Can I have your attention please? We will begin in a moment . . . [short pause] . . . OK, the moment is now. (Students laugh)

During one-on-one math work

S: I think that you were supposed to move this here.

T: You know what? You’re right. I guess I’m not smarter than a 5th grader. (Students laugh)

Teachers do not always have to be the ones to initiate humorous interactions in the classroom. Students who are comfortable sharing and being their authentic selves in the classroom may initiate humorous interactions by making a funny face, remembering an inside joke, or making a pop culture reference. Teachers seeking substantial connections with their students can then build on these moments of levity to solidify their connections:

S: You always [assign us] problems about shopping, but I don’t have any money! (Smiles)

T: That’s true. Guess it’s time for you to get a job. (Winks)

S: Hey! (Giggles) I can’t get a job. I’m only in the 5th grade!

T: (Laughs) You’re right. I’ll start switching it up.

Our point isn’t that teachers should try to be comedians, or that every joke has to be hysterically funny, but only that warm, inclusive, brief moments of levity were very common in the most successful classrooms we observed, and they were less frequent in the less successful classrooms. We’ve seen teachers use humor to gain or maintain students’ attention, to encourage students to consider a new perspective, and to show themselves to be approachable, relatable, and fallible beings. Nothing does more to create a sense of trust and camaraderie.

Sharing and seeking personal information

In classrooms that were particularly successful for marginalized students, we often observed teachers taking a genuine interest in students’ lives — not just asking how they’re doing but also following up with them the next day, or even weeks later. While we understand that it’s important for teachers to set clear personal and professional boundaries, we’ve seen again and again how much it matters to students to know that their teachers care about them as individuals. Simply by remembering what students have shared about themselves, and by showing concern and interest over time, they can nurture the sort of positive, trusting relationship that encourages students to stay engaged and motivated in class.

Remembering students’ plans

T: Hey, Donell. How are you? Did you ever go get that ice cream?

S: Yeah. I went like a week ago.

T: So, what did you think? It’s better than DQ, right? (Smiles)

S: Nah. (Chuckles) It was alright, but nothing beats DQ!

Remembering students’ lives

T: You know what, Rachel has a lot of pets at home. Rachel, remind me, how many pets do you have?

S: Thirteen.

T: Wow, did you get some more since the last time we talked about them?

S: Yeah. My cat had kittens, but we gave some away.

T: Oh, cool!

Most teachers know that it’s beneficial for them to learn about their students’ lives, but it is also beneficial for students to know about their teacher as a real person with interests outside their content area. By giving students a window into their own lives, teachers help build a positive classroom climate. Again, there are boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed — teachers should never look to their students to support or advise them on deeply personal matters. But, as we saw in our research, teachers can build a sense of connection with students by sharing all sorts of non-intimate stories, such as anecdotes about when they were in school or about their pets, hobbies, and so on.

For example, we observed one teacher who shared a bit of his own life while introducing a lesson on probability, in which students used a coin-toss game to determine how chores might be distributed fairly among family members. In his own home, he explained, he and his wife split the chores — he washes the dishes and she vacuums the house. He then invited students to describe how chores are divided in their homes, which led to a brief whole-class discussion about the ways that families could assign chores, and then to the coin-toss game.

We have seen teachers use conversations like these to launch a new task, bring authentic context to a lesson, motivate student participation, and demonstrate caring for their students’ well-being. Doing so doesn’t necessarily cut into instructional time or overstep important boundaries — for instance, it only takes a minute to talk about who does the dishes and who vacuums, and this can be done without oversharing or being inappropriate. It allows teachers to bring something of their own lives into the classroom, which can help to build a sense of community.

Admitting mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, including teachers. When teachers are transparent about things that do not go as planned or about the errors they make in class, they appear more human and relatable, while serving as a model for how students can learn from their own errors. Indeed, in the most successful classrooms we observed, teachers regularly admitted their mistakes, often reiterating that mistakes are normal and to be expected, especially when working on challenging material. In the less successful classrooms, teachers were just as likely to make mistakes, but didn’t address them in the same manner.

For example, one teacher was demonstrating a long division method to an elementary class and got to a point where she could go no further. When she realized she’d messed up, she said so to the class: “You know what, I think I’m confused, and I think I’m confusing you all. Let’s go back, and I’ll retrace my steps. If at any point, anyone sees where I went wrong, shout it out.”

When teachers are transparent about things that do not go as planned or about the errors they make in class, they appear more human and relatable.

Far from losing face, the teacher seemed to strengthen her relationship with her students by admitting to her own mistake, especially because she didn’t make a big deal out of it. All too often, students feel anxious and vulnerable about making mistakes in school, but the teacher’s example showed them that they are safe to get the wrong answer, and there’s nothing shameful about doing so. Further, the teacher showed them that even knowledgeable adults get confused sometimes, and she turned her mistake into a learning opportunity by asking the students to help her find her error.

Explaining decisions

We’ve also observed many successful teachers be transparent about their own decision-making process, giving students honest explanations about the choices they’ve made in the classroom, especially when students are unhappy with or don’t understand those choices. As we see it, by sharing their own reasoning — about why they’ve assigned a specific project, for example, or why they’ve decided to spend another week teaching fractions — teachers demonstrate respect for students’ intelligence, their time, and their investment in their own learning. When teachers refuse to be transparent (saying, in effect, “You have to do this because I said so”), they only come across as authoritarians, not as educators.

One teacher we observed made a point of explaining the reason behind even the most ordinary classroom routines, such as setting a timer while students worked on an assignment: “This needs to be completed in class today,” he told his students, so “I will set our timer . . . so that you stay on task and we don’t run out of time.” In another instance, a teacher explained why she was changing the classroom seating plan: “I rearranged the desks because, last week, I noticed that you all had a bit of trouble bumping into each other when we transitioned from the carpet to our desks.”

It demands very little from teachers to give such explanations, but the effects on classroom relationships can be powerful, showing students that their teacher is alert to problems in the classroom, looks for solutions, and wants them to understand what’s going on, rather than making them anxious and uncertain. When teachers share their rationales in this way, they model rational thinking and problem solving. They communicate that their decisions are not those of a powerful, dictatorial presence but, rather, of someone who cares about students’ experiences in the classroom and wants them to be comfortable with decisions being made.

Creating space for interaction

Building a nurturing classroom environment depends on all sorts of small, subtle efforts to engage in positive social interactions among teachers and students (Brown-Jeffy & Cooper, 2011). As we observed in highly successful and diverse math classrooms, teachers can take many steps to cultivate productive relationships even as they provide their regular instruction (Wilson et al., 2019). Often these interactions are unplanned and spontaneous — as when a teacher pauses, mid-lesson, to tell a joke, or when they admit that they’ve made an error while going through an algebra problem at the whiteboard — but there are also things teachers can do to increase the likelihood that such positive interactions will take place.

One important way to start the process of connecting with students is simply to get to know them. Survey your students on their interests and refer back to their responses regularly. Check in with students about things they have mentioned participating in or enjoying. Attend school and local events that students are involved in or that align with students’ interests. Ask them about their lives and the people, places, and things that matter most to them. Ideally, these personal connections should go both ways, as you share some of the people, places, and things that matter to you, as well. By telling students about your home, things you like to do, and experiences you’ve had, you highlight your humanity, inviting students to share their own humanity in return. Students and teachers are not friends, they are not family, and they must be careful not to share too much of themselves. But they do need to respect and trust each other, and they do need to feel some amount of personal connection, so that they feel comfortable with a learning process that often requires them to take risks, make mistakes, and confront challenging material.

By taking small steps to inquire about student lives, share something of themselves, admit to their own errors, and explain their own reasoning, teachers can show young people that school does not have to be a top-down authoritarian structure. It can be a place where teachers are authentic and accessible members of a community of care. As Ken Robinson has argued (2013), “To improve our schools, we have to humanize them and make education personal to every student and teacher in the system. Education is always about relationships.” By being intentional about using social interactions to build relationships with students, we can do much to improve our classrooms and schools, especially for historically marginalized students.

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This article appears in the February 2022 issue of Kappan, Vol. 103, No. 5, pp. 18-23.