Q: I’m a principal in a public school in the mid-Atlantic region, and I’ve noticed a disturbing trend. More of my teachers this year seem to be prepared to break their contract. Teachers who, just a month ago, committed to return in the fall are suddenly telling me their plans have changed. When they signed on the dotted line, they understood that breaking the contract could get them blackballed from not just our county but from neighboring counties as well. They could jeopardize their teaching certification, too. These deterrents worked just fine in the past, minus the occasional outlier or unique situation, but this year seems different. Teachers aren’t just leaving our school; they’re leaving the field entirely. A couple of them have told me they’re “done,” and they don’t really care that they’re jeopardizing their professional relationships or slamming the door on future possibilities.
I recognize that I can’t force these teachers to do the right thing and honor their agreement, but when it comes to planning for next year, they’re screwing over the whole school, and it’s frustrating as hell. I also worry that some of these teachers are so burnt out that they’re not thinking clearly. Would it be wrong to try to convince them to stay? I don’t want to mansplain or act like I know better than them, but I do have several decades of experience, and some of these teachers are relatively new to the profession and quite young. Most also are women with young children, and I don’t want them to walk away from their profession just because things are so unstable right now. I think they’ll regret the decision later when their lives are calmer. I also wonder if it would be foolish to convince them to stay. Am I asking for trouble if I try to talk them into it, maybe even running the risk that they’ll return only to quit mid-year? How should I approach these conversations?
A: Are these teachers asking for advice, or are they simply telling you about their plans? If it’s the former, I’d make sure they understand the potential consequences. If you’re not sure whether they’re open to input, you might ask, “How do you feel about that decision?” Or “Do you want to talk through your decision-making process?” Or “Is there anything I can do that might change your decision?”
Be careful not to start from a place of judgment. You’re going to get a better result if you tell them about a major life decision you made under duress and later regretted than if you tell them you think they’re not thinking clearly. I’d also make sure you’re calm and capable of having a constructive conversation. You may need to process your frustration with a trusted colleague or friend first. When you do talk to these teachers, lead with “I” statements. It’s a lot more effective to say: “I’m wondering what led you to make this decision,” or “I’m sorry to hear that you’re considering leaving; that would be a real loss for us,” than to criticize a teacher’s character or to suggest that they’re too overwhelmed to know what they want. If they’re open to practical suggestions, then you could talk about options such as taking a leave of absence or getting therapy through the district’s Employee Assistance Program.
The truth is that contracts are a two-way street, and school districts can reassign teachers, change their role, put them on administrative leave or even terminate them as they see fit (provided they follow proper procedures). Similarly, while teachers may face consequences for leaving, no one can make them stay. And depending on the reasons for their departure, you might not want to convince them otherwise. Do they hate teaching, full stop, or do they love their job but feel too exhausted to continue?
For what it’s worth, your situation isn’t unique. The pandemic has placed enormous pressures on working parents, particularly mothers, and many are reevaluating their priorities. Across professions, women are leaving the workforce in greater numbers than men. According to the 2020 Women in the Workplace Study, 1 in 4 women are considering leaving the workplace or downshifting their careers. This is in part because more mothers than fathers report adding 15 or more hours of caregiving a week to their schedule. Educators have the added stress of teaching during a pandemic. It’s not hard to understand why some of your teachers might be fried, so start the discussion from a place of empathy, understanding, and respect. And if you don’t want to mansplain, don’t tell them how they feel or what they should do.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
