Q: I’m a teacher at a middle school that just got shut down for asbestos abatement. There was no backup building available that could serve our entire school community, so we’ve been divided among a few different holding spaces. This mandated, out-of-the-blue move has been disruptive, to say the least. Aside from everyone panicking about the implications of spending years in a building that has been deemed unsafe, the staff, faculty and students are now all split up. That’s affecting departments, sports teams, friend groups, colleagues’ relationships, kids’ access to adults to whom they feel close, etc. Basically, it’s affecting everyone! And there is no timeline for returning to our school, which is adding to the sense of anxiety. It’s only been a month, but everyone is feeling the loss, and the more nervous and stress-prone students in our community are struggling more than others. Some anxious staff are having a really hard time, too. Not everyone is able to roll with the change. (OK, full disclosure: I’m having an awful time.) What can we as a school do to ease the transition for everyone, but mostly for the students? And what can I do to be cool with this, myself?
A: Transitions are hard, but they’re even tougher to manage when they’re unexpected. You have no sense of control. And this particular disruption comes with extra challenges. People are stressed about possible health implications, and there’s no end in sight. You’re also in a new environment, interacting with different colleagues, separated from familiar faces, and navigating different structures and spaces. Pile on a propensity for anxiety, and it’s no wonder you, your colleagues and many of your students are feeling out of sorts.
Moods are contagious, so you’re smart to take care of your own needs. The adults won’t be able to help kids unless they’re able to project calm. This includes parents. Your school can help by offering parent education. Administrators and counselors can hold a meeting or series of coffees to encourage parents to maintain as much consistency as possible outside the walls of the school. Even if kids aren’t learning in the same building, they can get together outside of school. Parents also can make an extra effort to ensure their kids get enough sleep, exercise, and unstructured time. If any students already meet with an outside therapist, underscore that this is not the time to yank away that support. All of this advice applies to you and the rest of the faculty, too. Maintain as much consistency as possible in your life, as well, and if there are colleagues you won’t see as often as you’d like, make plans to get together outside of school.
It’s important not to “interview kids for pain” or “mine for misery.” Instead, parents and educators can keep the focus on any positives. And there may very well be some; for instance, less crowding in the halls or an unexpected opportunity to meet new students or get closer to existing friends. Similarly, all the adults should take care not to be alarmist. Don’t speculate about the environmental hazards or get roped into inflammatory conversations in front of the kids. They won’t be able to contextualize the information, there’s nothing they can do about it anyway, and they’ll only internalize the atmospheric anxiety. They’ll be looking to the adults in their orbit to gauge just how upset they should be, so stay nonreactive. At the same time, validate kids’ frayed nerves and reassure them that they’re not alone in their discomfort. They also will benefit from hearing that things will improve once they settle into their new routine.
All the adults also can share stories of times they’ve managed upheaval, focusing on the coping strategies they used to weather those challenges. Share what it means to be proactive instead of reactive. For instance, ask the kids what they need to feel comfortable in the new building. Give students a chance to brainstorm ideas. For instance, would they like to have a few lunches during the transition with a teacher or their counselor? Speaking of counselors, perhaps the school could have them rotate through the various buildings if they’re going to be separated from the students in their caseloads. If there are children with underlying anxiety, keep an especially close eye on them. They might benefit from having a special role or responsibility in the new space.
The good news is that the long-term repercussions of this experience actually can be positive. Tell kids that once they see they can get through this, they will feel more resilient. The next time something goes awry, they’ll be able to recall this experience and remember that they can adapt to change. The same is true for you and your colleagues.
For more Career Confidential: http://bit.ly/2C1WQmw
Have a question that you’d like Career Confidential to answer? Email contactphyllisfagell@gmail.com. All names and schools will remain confidential. No identifying information will be included in the published questions and answers.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
