Q: Lately, I’ve been telling my administrator friends that I lost my virginity in college, but lost my naïveté when I became a principal. They immediately know what I mean. I used to assume the best of people, and that’s how I’ve led my staff from the start, but frankly it’s not working for me. I’ve lost 20% of my teaching staff year after year for the last few years. My annual climate surveys haven’t been that useful, so with the last two groups of departing employees, I did more targeted exit interviews. Most were noncommittal when I asked why they were leaving, but more than a few mentioned wanting to work with nicer people. Most left it at that, but a couple shared examples. One said her department chair organizes monthly birthday lunches for everyone, but has never celebrated hers or invited her to her colleagues’ celebrations. Maybe I’m just a clueless guy, but who does that? Another teacher said her supervisor has criticized her repeatedly and publicly for speaking with an accent, suggesting she get speech therapy so she doesn’t sound “so Colombian.” I’m talking about adults who seem perfectly kind and normal on the surface. They’ve always been completely appropriate when they interact with me, so these anecdotes left me shocked.
I don’t want to become a cynic, but as I mentioned, I’ve already lost my naïveté. I need to know what’s happening among my staff so I can fix problems before I lose more good people. I’m losing many of my nicest staff members, so this problem will only get worse if I don’t get it under control. I know I’ll have no problem putting an end to bad behavior once I know about it, but I’m hoping you can help me figure out how to get my staff to open up and tell me when they’re having a problem. To date, not a single soul has asked me for help, and I can’t do a damn thing if I don’t know what’s happening!
A: You’re approaching this as a communication problem, and that’s part of it, but this has more to do with power dynamics. From the examples you give, it sounds like teachers with less power and less social capital are struggling with their supervisors. First, understand that you hold all the power in your ecosystem. It doesn’t matter if you invite people to talk to you, or prop your door open, or are friendly and approachable. It’s still a risk to approach you. These teachers may perceive that their supervisors are in your inner circle, particularly if they’re on your instructional leadership team. They may fear that you’ll mishandle the situation or make it worse. Or that you won’t believe them or take them seriously, or that you’ll do absolutely nothing. They could be worried about ending up with a bad review, or getting forced out, or seeming helpless, or coming across as a complainer. They may have lost their confidence and sense of agency entirely. I could go on, but my point is that you won’t solve this issue if your whole plan amounts to convincing suffering teachers to come to you for help.
That doesn’t mean you can’t work on your communication skills or make an effort to build trust. The exit interviews were a great idea, but you should consider being vocal about your values and expectations much earlier in the game. For example, you could hold monthly focus groups with rotating sets of teachers and other staff members who don’t hold leadership positions. Even if you have no clue what’s happening, I guarantee you that someone in your building does. A department chair may have organized those birthday lunches, for instance, but plenty of bystanders went along with her plan.
At a staff meeting, you could share your concerns and provide examples of mean behavior from other (unnamed) schools. Be sure to convey that you’ll hold people accountable if they behave similarly. Give everyone multiple ways to get support, too. Someone might feel uncomfortable talking to you in person, but readily leave a note in your mailbox. Or they might need to process with a therapist first, or with someone in their teachers union or human resources office. Give your staff the names, emails, and phone numbers of people who could assist them. You’ll normalize asking for help and convey that you take this type of problem seriously.
If a staff member does come to you for help, validate that they’ve been wronged and work on a solution together. Be direct and honest about what you can and can’t do, and make sure you follow through on your promises. Let them know that you’ll intervene if there’s negative fallout, and check up on them regularly afterwards to see how they’re doing. Word will get out that you care and can be trusted.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Phyllis L. Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.
