How educators can help kids process the attack on the U.S. Capitol

Here in Washington, D.C., the events at the Capitol hit uncomfortably close to home. At the start of our staff meeting, a middle school teacher told us he could hear rioters chanting right outside his window. Still, while we were all shaken by the unfolding threat to our democracy, the conversation quickly shifted to how we can best support our students. As educators, we are all too familiar with the urgent need to help children in times of crisis.

Here are six ways we can alleviate students’ distress in the days and weeks ahead, even as we struggle to regain our own equilibrium:

Give students a sense of agency.

Shortly after Wednesday’s attack on the Capitol, our head of school, Jessica Donovan, sent an email to staff to remind us that kids feel comforted when they take action. She suggested that students write notes to Officer Robinson, our beloved carpool officer. “She has been working at the Capitol all day, and she misses our Sheridan kids,” Donovan wrote. “I know some notes will warm her heart.”

Whether you ask your students to thank someone they know personally, write a government representative to advocate for a policy change, or respond in some other way, it’s important that they recognize their own power to act. To inspire them, consider sharing examples of young changemakers, such as the teens who started the March for Our Lives movement or child activists from the civil rights era.

Come together as a community and reinforce shared values.

Today — the day after Trump supporters stormed the Capitol — we brought the entire middle school together online for a morning meeting. The goal was to begin contextualizing recent events, encourage reflection, and take comfort in being together.

At the start of any gathering, help kids center themselves by taking a few deep breaths or sitting in silence for a minute, then reinforce their obligations to one another. Establish explicit norms around speaking honestly, listening respectfully, being inclusive, and leading with kindness. Children need to feel psychologically and physically safe to learn, and they’ve been witnessing so much hate lately. A student told me this morning how astonished he was to see photos of a QAnon flag outside the Capitol and a Confederate flag inside the Capitol. “It totally freaked me out!” he said. And these new stressors are layered on top of a pandemic, racism, economic distress, and political divisiveness.

Make sure you give every child a chance to speak, particularly those who tend to struggle to use their voice. To facilitate discussion, provide age-appropriate sentence-starters or ask open-ended questions, such as I want my teachers to. . . , I hope my classmates will. . . , If I had to pick one word that describes how I feel, it would be. . . , or I most want to know about . . .

Keep it real.

Be authentic and don’t hit kids with a bunch of “how do you feel” questions without opening up about your own feelings first. Otherwise, as one 7th grader told me, “It can feel like a teacher is saying something because they feel like they can’t ignore it, not because they actually care.”

“I get annoyed when teachers try to talk to us about this stuff,” she added, “but if they say, ‘I’m not really OK. In fact, I’m pretty upset and scared,’ and then asks, ‘How are you feeling?’ I’m less harsh on them.” A 6th grader added, “It’s stressful to not know where teachers stand on an issue. Before asking us how we feel, tell us how you feel. It can’t be a one-sided conversation. I like it when teachers share stories about themselves, like, ‘I’m a Democrat and I got into an argument with some Republican family members.” Keeping it real also means telling kids the truth, including when you don’t have an answer. As a 6th-grade boy pointed out, “We don’t expect teachers to know everything.”

Be mindful about what you show them — and focus on the helpers.

Young students (particularly those age 11 and under) can’t handle violent images, and even older teens can struggle to process disturbing images or videos. Once they see something, they can’t unsee it, and many kids are feeling scared right now. “My brother watches a ton of news and shouts out what he’s seeing, and then I get hooked on all of it,” one 6th grader told me. “I start to feel less safe and more like my world is falling apart.”

To combat fear, highlight people who’ve shown moral courage and hope during these difficult times. For instance, you can point out that after the building was secured, members of Congress worked through the night to certify the election of Joe Biden and ensure that democracy prevailed. Or talk about how the Rev. Raphael Warnock made history as Georgia’s first Black senator.

Also, teach students about “the power of and,” which can help instill realistic optimism. The idea is to encourage them to articulate two competing ideas at once, instead of zooming in exclusively on the negative. For instance, you might say, “Violent demonstrators stoked fear and threatened democracy, and this ugly situation is a good reminder to all of us that being a citizen requires playing an active role and ferreting out the truth, not just passively ingesting news.”

Recognize that every student processes differently.

Carve out time and space to talk about current events, but also recognize that each student will have different needs. Some might want to talk about it today, some tomorrow, some in a month, and some never. As one 7th grader told me, “I really just want the normal science lesson.” She added that she understands why social studies teachers have to focus on current events, but she hopes the rest of her teachers stick to their planned lessons.

Teachers also need to do what feels right to them. For example, Monica Hepburn, a middle school music teacher at North Bethesda Middle School in Maryland, began her classes today by showing Harry Styles’ “Treat people with kindness” video. Try to identify what a student needs, whether it’s reassurance, distraction, comfort, or information. One student might want to talk about how the situation has affected them personally, while another might want to know the difference between sedition, insurrection, and anarchy. Use age-appropriate language, keep explanations factual, and answer the questions students ask, not the questions you think they’re asking.

If students want or need extra support, hold special office hours or lunch groups, help them connect with a school counselor, or connect them with relevant affinity groups. But as one 6th grader advises, “Don’t be too pushy. Let kids take the lead in asking for help. Just because another teacher tells you that we’re upset doesn’t mean we want to talk to you about it.”

Label feelings and help kids catch your calm.

Finally, students need help understanding their feelings so they can formulate an appropriate response. If you notice that they look sad or frustrated, label what you’re observing, then encourage them to experiment with coping strategies. That might mean journaling, drawing, wall push-ups, counting their footsteps or getting a glass of water.

Right now, students are looking to the adults in their life to gauge just how alarmed they should be, so talk about how you’re managing your own distress, whether you try to limit news consumption or get enough sleep. And then do those things, because your students will be far more likely to thrive if you’re doing reasonably well, too.

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